7:30 AM

The bellowing alarm commands my hand to grab my phone. Grumbling, I squint at the bright screen. Eyes explode open, feet shoot out of covers, and arms flail to grope the light switch. Sprinting downstairs, I slide into the ktichen. Still dark outside, the fridge light envelops me in a gentle glow. I grab the coffee and kick the door shut. The rich, roasted smell of freshly ground beans titillates my nostrils as a slow Cheshire smile unfolds across my face. A quick glance at the oven clock.

7:38 AM

I still had time. I push start and bubbling signifies that my chestnut panacea brews. Thumbing above alerts me of the imminent chaos to come. Three breakfasts, a lunch check, snacks, and clean counter-tops. Lots to do.

I scrub last evenings dirt away while pondering how to divide recently discovered milk shortage. Today was a day for strong coffee. And extra chocolatey cereal.

7:44 AM

Cousin It stalks into the kitchen and shoves the light switch on.

“I hate my hair. Fix this,” my sister hisses. Spraying detangler, I watch tiny droplets litter her golden locks. She snatches the brush from my hand.

“I’ll do it. You pull too hard,” she snarls and stomps to the hallway mirror.

Ding! I fill three mugs with morning roast. Carefully, I pour the milk into two and leave one black. The rest sloshes into the neon blue cereal bowl.

7: 50 AM

My parents emerge in majestic glory prepared to tackle the work week. I look down at my fading tie-dye camp t-shirt and rainbow zebra pants. I forgot socks.

I scurry to the kitchen table. Holding my sister’s bowl, I walk to the sink while she hovers beside me, stuffing her mouth with the remaining crackling pieces of puffed rice.

Kiss. Kiss. Have a good day! I hope you avoid 8 AM traffic! My eyes dart to the stove.

7:58 AM

“Don’t forget to dust! The kitchen looks filthy,” my mom chimes before slamming the garage door shut.

Staring blanking at the door, the precariously left cereal spoon clatters to the floor speckling the black marble like the Milky Way. I ponder my return home. A prodigal daughter indeed. I calculate my loan and credit card debt from the past four years. Cringing, I pick up the silver utensil below. Jobless with a slew of rejections behind me. I’m an adult. But, I feel like a teen. My friends strut the glamorous cosmopolitan streets of the world. I am stuck in House Wife Training 101. Who am I? I’m not a teenager. For better or worse, I’ve changed drastically from high school. Yet, the independence of adulthood eludes my grasp.

What am I?

Transition Shock

An inter-disciplinary adaption of a nursing theory

Only one class had the insight to warn me about the looming life changes ahead of me: Advanced Nursing Leadership Practicum.

When first learning about transition theory, I rolled my eyes at the simplicity behind the concept. Everyone knew that you would struggle a bit as a newly graduated nurse. I learned, but didn’t comprehend the importance of the seemingly “soft” advice my professor preached to tired minds in 8AM lecture. Nursing, like always, was onto something.

The parallels between the transition shock experienced by a fledgling nurse and any normal college graduate remain strikingly relevant. The young graduate’s path to a Quarter Life crisis described by psychologists mimicked the new nurse’s entrance into a symbolic, hierarchical culture with oppressive and restrictive normative behaviors. Independently, both theories concur that role ambiguity leads to internal conflicts instigated by job disillusionment and dissatisfaction.

“Transition shock is…the most immediate, acute and dramatic stage in the process of professional role adaptation for [new graduates]” -J. Dutchscher

Confusion, doubt, loss, and disorientation all compound into the initial shock of entering an unfamiliar environment. The volatility of relationships, career roles, knowledge, and growing responsibilities intensify the changes in physical, emotional, intellectual, and socio-developmental factors of a Twenty-something’s adult life.

Robins and Wilner’s elucidation of the quarter-life crisis with their five-step thought loop shares semblances with Dutchscher’s findings of common nursing graduate fears:

1. Exposed as clinically incompetent
2. Failure to provide safe care to patients/unintentional harm
3. Unable to cope with role and responsibilities
4. Fear of rejection by peers as valued contributors of their professional community

“…new graduates went to great lengths to disguise their feelings of inadequacy from…colleagues” (Dutchscher 2009)

Underlying fears of incompetence and rejection emerge from both models.

Recent research supports the need for guidance and increased awareness about the shock that people normally experience during pivotal life transitions — the quarter life just one of plenty. Whether help comes through a residency, an orientation program, structured counseling, or practical lectures does not matter so much as the permanence and practicality of such resources.

Therefore, I support recent buzz to create petitions to change undergraduate curriculum. Colleges should contrive a mandatory exit class for seniors. All I got was a mandatory exit loan interview. Brusquely, a cold computer screen announced my accumulated debt and when payments would start.

Such a course may even foster senior class bonding, birth new friendships, and provide proper preparedness for the working world. Early awareness of the trials and tribulations that come with the roaring Twenties provides graduates with ample time to prepare. In fact, I strongly defend the benefit of child-rearing classes — parenthood being another transition crisis. Who doesn’t appreciate guidance and forewarning?

Even the universities benefit. Leaving graduates grateful towards their Alma mater may lead to increased fund givings and a tighter, thriving alumni network.

Surviving to Thriving

Transition theory further supplies a structured timeline with concrete steps that newly initiated nurses adopt to cope with job fatigue and stress. Since most young professionals are recent collegiate degree-holders, such a model effortlessly tailors to a wide range of professions. Glancing at the figure below, a transition goes from doing to being to knowing. Similarly, Thorspecken suggests learning goals for graduates that fit the clinical model: clarify reasoning, obtain information, envision change, develop skills, assess characteristics, recall support. In short: action, skill, and reflection.

Even research in education and teaching mention the initial stages of shock that rattle neophyte educators. Altruistic individuals tend to flock into highly competitive programs like Teach for America and the Peace Corps. Friends and strangers alike lament the lack of preparation and high rates of burnout that plague the youngest entrants of these prestigious organizations.

Sonia Nieto (2009) proposes a similar model to the two above to aid teachers with career dissatisfaction and shock by hailing the benefits of choice, partnerships, and an open climate in the work environment. Nieto’s three steps echo both doing-being-knowing and action-skill-reflection:

1. Learn about self: a combination of being and doing
2. Learn about students: a combination of being and knowing
3. Develop allies: the importance of social support

No matter the profession, the reality of crisis and shock exists. Few individuals are exempt from its claws. I am normal. You are normal. Now, we can slowly learn to overcome the gripping fears of inadequacy fueled by a dread of societal judgement. There is nothing shallowly elitist about a quarter-life crisis. We happened to grow up in a developed country during an information and technology boom. Don’t wield the crisis as a shield excusing you from adult responsibilities. Conquer it. Learn. Tread on.

“Now you know.”

3:23 AM.

The letters on the screen all blur into squiggly lines. The buzz of fluorescent light melds with clacking, plastic computer keys. Radiating heat from Tobasco-ladden buffalo wings singes my nostrils. Empty Starbucks coffee cups and silver wrappers litter the floor like a Pollack painting. The computer lab stays alive by sucking the life out of industrious students. I gaze at the glowing screen, blinded with sleep deprivation and exhaustion.

3:59 AM.

“It’s almost four,” the girl to my left moans.

“3:59? Disgusting. Kinda looks like 69. Fuck. That’s what I want. Sex. Man, I haven’t had sex in a while,” the guy to my right retorts.

“Dream on. Look where you’re at on a Friday night. Thank baby Hara Krishna Jesus Buddha-bellied holy cows. This problem set is almost done,” she sighs.

“You’re extra blasphemous tonight. You stand corrected, it’s Saturday. Don’t hate. A guy can dream. But, why are we still up?” he grumbled.

Exactly. Why am I still up?

My senior year of college, and I still pull all-nighters. Rapidly shaking my head awake, I question the collegiate life. The intellectual freedom and academic exploration that I expected turned into a production line of mass-produced analysts fueling the corporate machine. Find myself?

Who was I kidding. I found golden sacks, Boston consults, black stones, and other banes to my existence.

What am I doing?

The Quarter Life

“You’re in a crisis? That can’t be. What do you have to worry about?”

I always jested about going through a quarter life crisis, but after graduation, I realized that like any good joke there exists a sliver of truth behind a laugh. Nobody my age ever discussed the legitimate existence of an actual life crisis during our Twenties. They played along and lamented about their woes, but few, if any, peers brought up the topic first. I began to question its existence. Was I an anomaly? A brief journey into the land of self-help gurus only left me more baffled.

Does the Quarter-life crisis exist, and what exactly constitutes the “quarter-life”?

Affluent young people in a ‘new’ affluent society.

Initially, I scoff at the use of affluent young to describe myself and fellow peers. Few recent post-graduates earn enough income to consider themselves affluent. After the haze of my privilege lifts, I remember the millions of hunger-stricken youth in developing nations around the world. Guilt accumulates in my stomach. Perhaps, affluent does accurately illustrate us.

Derek Thompson from The Atlantic recently published an article briefly detailing research on the income floors necessary to enter the elite 1% circle: $135,000 is the cut-off if you’re under thirty. So, what’s normal? The median income for young adults with a bachelor’s degree is $46,900, while a master’s degree or higher raises earnings to $59,600 annually (NCES). The median United States household income (2012) is roughly $51,371, according to the ACS and US Census. Furthermore, young adults (20–39) comprise roughly 27% of the US population. Twenty-somethings amount to 14% as a separate, distinct group. We make up a sizable chunk of America, and we do better than most American households.

Earning $50,000 for a single-person household versus a family of two orfour immediately puts my “affluence” into perspective. Clearly, a Bachelor’s degree is one key that opens the doors into a higher socio-economic class. I should appreciate my blessings instead of fuss over petty first world problems. What an elitist thought to even consider the existence of a quarter-life crisis!

Yet, I strongly believe that there is validity to my generation’s woes. The unified discontent among my age group is not unwarranted. The general public accepts a mid-life crisis. But, any whiff of life struggles from blossoming adults, and society wrinkles its nose in disdain, leering down on us while whispering about lackluster work ethic and appalling sloth-like tendencies.

Yes, we earn a comfortable salary that allows us to live enjoyable lives. Yes, we spend more than our means while indulging in treats and temptations. Yes, we aimlessly wander the world confused, lost, and constantly anxious with insecurity. Are we not all just an embodiment of Gatsby looking toward our own green lights?

Robins and Wilner expound on the existence of a negative loop of thoughts that young adults experience after the glory of the diploma fades into the abyss of debt, bills, and loneliness.

1. They grow unhappy, anxious, and/or depressed: Real life sucks. I’m alone, single, debt-ridden, and lost.
2. They don’t talk about it: Everyone else seems happy and successful, so I can’t let them know I’m not.
3. Because they don’t discuss problems, they don’t learn that these problems are common: Nobody else is feeling this way. It’s not normal to be this confused and sad.
4. They attribute problems to individual inadequacies: Something is wrong with me. Why am I such a failure? I should be doing more.
5. Self-doubt spirals which leads to further unhappiness: Why can’t I get my life together? I should give up.

Jennifer Thorspecken agrees that the “Quarter Life” is a real, transitory period of change in life filled with unpredictability, internal doubt, loss of identity, and oscillating career satisfaction as we tackle the responsibilities of independence, developing self-identities, and adulthood. Few people foresee the onset of the quarter-life crisis which exacerbates the confusion and mental strain felt and potentially spirals into severe psychological stress. After the honeymoon period of independence ends, Twenty-somethings realize that they nurture a growing seed of job dissatisfaction within themselves.

The panic firmly sinks its teeth into our hearts when the awareness of our dissatisfaction leads to a lost sense of personal identity. For young, entry-level employees, personal identity revolves around the answer to a single question: what do you do? Hating the career that defines you can cause an uncomfortable inner rift. Believing that it’s abnormal sparks an emergency.

A quarter-life crisis exists.

Perhaps, my problems don’t subsist of petty, first-world trivialities. The past four or more years of our lives focused on accumulating knowledge for a “dream career.” A single perfect job. Life doesn't function like a classroom where consistent studying and hard-work lead to the “perfect” desired outcome filled with praise, recognition, and golden stickers: the shining A+ on your transcript and accolades on Dean’s List. That initial shock like a naked jump into Arctic waters, paralyzes idealistic graduates. The majority of people can surmount the initial state of shock with relative ease and avoid negative repercussions. However, only with proper education, careful guidance, and increased awareness can an individual prepare for surviving an impending crisis. Shock is not crisis, but shock leads to crisis.

The central problem stems from the pursuit of the perfect job or career. Despite knowing that the average adult changes careers multiple times, I still tightly grip onto my baseless belief of seeking a sole life purpose. I know that no clear-cut path exists. But, somewhere along the way, I learned to equate a lack of an all-defining sense of purpose with failure. Strangely, quitting a job somehow infers a deviance from the path of direction when, in fact, a career change often leads to the discovery of an individual’s passions. Searching for perfection will forever perpetuate inner frustration. Unfortunately, perfection is the emotionally-manipulative lover that plays with my insecurities and fears. Breaking up with her is easier said than done. It helps to remember:

“Choosing a career is a lifelong process” (Thorspecken 2005)

Emerging Adulthood

Are we still adolescents or young adults?

For the longest time, psychologists overlooked the existence of a distinct developmental phase between adolescence and young adulthood. Erikson’s stages of psychosocial crisis grouped adults in their Twenties and Thirties together. Perhaps, in the 1950s and 1960s, such a grouping satisfied the almost homogeneous populations of European and American countries. People began families earlier and few individuals pursued higher education. However, the current economic and social landscape starkly differs from the past. Psychologist, Jeffrey Arnett realized the rising need to define a newly emerging phase of life particular to technologically developed countries. I am not an adolescent. I am not a young adult.

I am an emerging adult.

Emerging adulthood incorporates the social changes in developed countries when considering a new psycho-social crisis that has blossomed within a more educated, perdurable populace. Erikson’s stage of adolescence has delayed in modern youth, so the “identity crisis” teens experience now occurs later in life—typically during university or after. However, the “intimacy vs. isolation” crisis of young adults doesn't necessarily follow the same lag. Graduates now face augmented stress in life.

Emerging adults are defined by their demographic unpredictability.

Similar to the elderly, this is a time of the roleless role.

So, what precisely unites and qualifies emerging adults?

1. A high degree of demographic diversity and instability
2. An emphasis on change and exploration

These individuals do not have homogeneous living arrangements. Some emerging adults rent, some buy apartments, some return to their parents’ homes—wanderlust stricken nomads. Also, career changes and job transitions commonly occur throughout the decade. Individuals have the opportunity to explore their identities and figure out who they are in context to the world around. Travel and exposure to a variety of cultures allows their subjective perceptions to alter and change.

Arnett (2004) details five distinct aspects of emerging adulthood:

1. Age of identity exploration
2. Age of instability
3. Self-focused age
4. Age of feeling in-between
5. Age of possibilities

“…they often view adulthood as dull and stagnant.
The end of spontaneity, the end of a sense that anything is
possible.” (Arnett 2007)

Our new responsibilities teem with idle boredom, but the Twenties epitomize spontaneity. However, we tend to ignore our opportunities and narrowly focus on our constraints. Couple this caged mentality with the high ideals common among emerging adults—the fodder to feed a crisis.

The first taste of freedom and excitement in college grows addictive for thousands. Growing into emerging adulthood forces these delayed adolescents to create an identity outside of academics and learn to balance the responsibilities that arise with growing independence. Finished with years of academic education (for now), I have to adjust to the real world. At school, I had an identity. The real world couldn’t care less about it. I now have to reconfigure my personal idividuality. Meanwhile, the bills keep coming like Harry’s Hogwarts acceptance letters.

Perhaps, we are a selfish generation. But, developmentally, emerging adults have the opportunity for narcissistic discovery and exploration. Not straddled with children or spouses, we can explore our sexuality, interests, and random whims of desire. We can travel to the most remote regions of the world on very little. We can make financial mistakes without subjecting a family to doom. Emerging adulthood is undoubtedly an age of possibilities. But the in-between nature of our age group can quickly sprout feelings of insecurity and confusion. When their idealism clashes with reality, emerging adults face a unique developmental crisis with the pandemonium of a tantamount life transition.

Alone in a Crowd

Are Millenials actually miserable?

12:31 AM

Almost clipping the tips of my black suede pumps, cabs speed by fiercer than usual with the recent infiltration of polished Uber SUVs. Growing damper, my shoulder begins to tickle, but my somber face betrays nothing. My heart beat mirrors the spasms of sobs that vibrate throughout my body. I snuggle my friend closer into my arms.

“I hate my job. I HATE IT! My boss is a fucking cunt! What do I do?” she wails like a banshee. I sush her quietly. Unknowingly, I rock back and forth in a slow, gently rhythm.

12:53 AM

“And why doesn’t he text me back? Third dates are a success, right?” she digs her nails into my jacket.

Stroking her hair, I remember my own break down the year before. Repressed tears roll down my cheeks and accumulate near my nostrils. I faintly taste their salty essence when I lick my cracked lips. I’m young. I have life ahead of me. Why am I,no, we so sad?

Why do I feel so hopeless?

The majority of my friends moved to lively urban capitals around America from the financial epicenter in New York to the tech incubator in San Francisco. As the months dragged on, I noticed a distinct cycle of anxiety, addiction, and depression infiltrating my comrades’ lives in varying degrees.

When I asked people a few years out how to navigate the post-graduate maze, they all replied with variations of “you’ll figure it out.” Just as lost, recent alumni lacked the same much needed guidance. Trial-and-error arose as the only, obvious solution. Ironically, research labels it as the worst possible remedy to the emerging adult’s quarter-life crisis. The one solution we thought works, actually hinders us.

Pressed or Depressed?

Naturally, I question the real severity of the observed despondence among society’s youngest adults. Depression is no joke. I can’t ignore an already overlooked area of health that affects millions. For personal curiosity, I scrutinize some available data.

Prevalence of Current Depression* Among Persons Aged ≥12 Years, by Age Group and Sex — United States, National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, 2007–2010

The CDC’s most recent available data reveals what some psychologists bemoan as a lack of concrete depression rates for emerging adults. Emerging adults and young adults get grouped together. Old data reveals the same trend.

Using the U.S. Census’s population data from 2005, I can extrapolate the necessary information and estimate the rates for emerging adults.

Even with the slight skew in such primitive data analysis, I find that emerging adults, who make up a substantial chunk of the population, have a cumulative number of depressed individuals that is more than children and elderly combined. Otherwise, the mainstream knowledge that women have higher rates of depression is confirmed. As an aside, I personally agree that the gender division stems partially from the higher rate of suicide among men. A quick check of U.S. deaths from suicide (39,518 total, death rate of 12.7, age-adjusted 12.3 in 2011) confirms that indeed males are more likely to follow through with suicidal ideation.

Next, I quickly check if poverty levels alter the data at all. Since the quarter-lifers I discuss are affluent, the data would infer that depression rates are inherently lower. Depression could potentially play a role in emerging adults’ well-being and life satisfaction, but the lack of available research limits the possible findings we can make about mental health trends.

Finally, the fact that females are over two times as likely to use anti-depressants than males could link to their higher rates of depression. Yet, maybe, higher female use of anti-depressants exists only because there are more women diagnosed with depression than men. I’m not sure about the correlation and causation there. Another possibility could stem from a common anti-deppresant side-effect: weight gain. We all read headlines about diets, weight loss, eating disorders, and the never-ending pursuit of the perfect body. If you already had a negative thought loop then the very medication that potentially helps you break free from that comes at the cost of societal disdain and judgement.

Yet, Jeffrey Arnett found a different data set that seems to shine hope onto our melancholic milieu.

We may be stressed and sad, but life gets better as we nurture our newly forming self-esteem and identity. Clearly, the questions we are asking in research regarding emerging adults and mental health aren't inquisitive enough. I can imagine recent studies have begun to find more insightful results, but I haven’t taken the time to investigate that far. I’m curious about the group of emerging adults that are not clinically depressed, but exhibit depressive symptoms. What are their careers, geographic location, relationship status, ease of access to healthcare, gender identity, debt history, and support network? Is there a difference between emerging adults that receive guidance and education about the upcoming life crisis along with resources to handle it versus emerging adults left to trial-and-error?

I think that I can safely assume that dissatisfaction is not depression. But, the transition crisis that Twenty-somethings undergo does make them susceptible to depression if they are emotionally vulnerable and ill-prepared to deal with hardship. Thankfully, Arnett wonderfully summarizes what I’ve come to credit as the cause of our lingering sadness.

“…emerging adults’ expectations for love and work tend to be extremely high — not just a reliable marriage partner but a “soul mate,” not just a steady job but a kind of work that is an enjoyable expression of their identity — and if happiness is measured by the distance between what we expect out of life and what we get, emerging adults’ high expectations will be difficult for real life to match…” (Arnett 2007)

Real-life never goes as planned. Parents teach us this from a young age, but fairy-tales and Disney overshadow their wise advice with promises of a Utopian happily-ever-after. When the security of college and family turns into a distant memory, a new grad learning to navigate for the first time tends to miss the looming crisis ahead. Thus, the cruel, unforgiving ocean of reality sinks our ship of a hand-holding, kumbaya-singing world and awakens us to the stark truths of adulthood. We lose ourselves and regress back to a commonly shared vice: procrastination. Coupled with denial, procrastination can lead to poorly dealing with responsibilities that won’t disappear on their own. The cause and effect cycle of feeling disappointment, denying reality, and procrastinating on responsibilities further perpetuates even more disappointment. Who doesn't feel the swelling exhaustion of following the globally growing mantra youth adopt: eat, sleep, rave, repeat?

I have to map out my life and nail down its meaning…right now!

A pressing sense of misguided urgency to find the right path for our lives can cause an unnecessary burden to our psycho-social well-being.

Perhaps, the real reason for my current dissatisfaction springs from a sudden awareness of the inequalities between my current self and where I want my ideal self to exist. The success of others just infuriates my perceived inability to bridge the rift between my present status quo and future dreams. I witness others succeeding while I stagnate as if lacking the inertia everyone else seems to possess.

The unpredictability of emerging adulthood scatters grads into different stages of adulthood. Good paying entry-level jobs lead to an identity crisis. Graduate school leads to a lack of financial security and independence. Returning home can ignite a sense of failure and inhibit the newly found freedom we crave and see slathered across Facebook walls. Stuck between an immovable rock and an unstoppable force, we emerging Millenials transition to adulthood by frantically floundering towards personal independence and self-fulfillment in a hodgepodge of disappointment and confusion. Only Disney princesses avoid experiencing a crisis.

Ask any young adult or retiree: personal change is inevitable. The meaning of life is a journey from birth till death not a single, static point in our Twenties. Mistakes happen—Life goes on.

Freedom Paradox

What do you do with a blank canvas?

12:36 PM

Munching on my extortionate oatmeal brûlée, I gaze at the flamboyant rose-colored decorations on the walls of this popular New York brunch spot.

“I should quit my job,” my finance friend announces, “We should be able to do anything.”

“What’s the phrase? Life is a blank canvas,” the French girl across from me chirps.

“But, I can’t quit just yet. That would look bad. Two years and I’m gone. They all say that,” Ms. Finance interjects.

“I don’t know what I want to do. Fashion? I want to create,” Ms. Paris professes while grabbing at empty air with open arms. “What do you want to do?”

I reply with my automatic spiel: Oh. You know, help people.

The jovial atmosphere continues, and we indulge in another round of fizzy mimosas.

Buzzing alerts me of my imminent bus ride back to Philly. I check the time for the soonest 1 train to Time Square: 1:45 PM. I can make it. After hugging my friends goodbye, I scurry outside and meld into the street bustle. Hopping down the stairs into the catacombs of New York public transportation, I peek at my watch—really an obsolete tool in this age.

1:42 PM

The recent conversation still repeats in my head.

What do I want to do?

By now a household name, the paradox of choice flecks everyday conversations. If you do not know what that phrase infers then I recommend taking twenty minutes to watch the Ted Talk by Barry Schwartz. Otherwise, keep reading below.

“Free at last, Free at last, Thank God almighty we are free at last.” -MLK Jr.

Freedom is special. For centuries, civilizations and societies have fought for independence, equality, and free speech. Emerging adults experience true freedom for the first time in their lives with the financial independence that jobs can provide. No more curfews, no more structured studying, no more homework assignments, and no more parental control.

However, freedom has a contingency clause: responsibility.

Underlying everything is the paradox of choice.

[ Now, critics do question the validity of choice anxiety, but for my purposes I will assume that some anxiety does exist when presented with a vast spectrum of choices. If not anxiety then at least choice fatigue and possible decision dissatisfaction. ]

The blank canvas before us spreads into the horizon. We can choose how to feel fulfilled. In fact, emerging adults feel that they must choose the correct way to find fulfilled.

In Passages, Gail Sheehy helps explain the paradoxical phenomenon that seems to strike recent graduates. Emerging adults are blessed with freedom of choice like never before, but they primarily prioritize and seek acknowledgement of success. Since work begins to dominate most of their life, a simple idea blooms.

I am what I do.

Personal identity begins to develop around the career that we chose. When meeting strangers, what is the first question people ask?

What do you do?

An awful job that feeds angst and chagrin rarely makes a person feel fulfilled. Pretending to identify with it in public worsens internal dissension. The collegiate atmosphere where, publicly, we were people with hopes, dreams, and desires vanishes into the rat race for money, fame, and prestige. Your job begins to define your worth in the shallow eyes of others. Cadence Turpin offers a wonderful solution to breaking away from such restrictive and oppressive habits.

Understanding that external and internal pressures guide and mislead us onto certain paths in life is pivotal to shifting the common belief that success=career=self-worth=self-identity. Why must I define myself and measure my merit as a human being with a job or career?

Over-achieving Outliers

Our teenage-years focus on our individuality. However, I believe that high-achieving college graduates strongly consorted with identities of academic excellence, grade point averages, and prestigious social institutions correlated with success.

Hence, ambitious Twenty-year old adults may face heightened stress levels. We struggle to divorce with our old identities after learning that we aren’t special, but one in hundreds of intelligent, successful undergraduates. College presents the opportunity to explore our teenage identities. However, the four-year constraint, distance from familial support, and burdens of academic rigor in an environment rife with addictions and temptations hinder the opportunity for self-exploration.

Instead, we adopt the newly found pre-existing identities laid before us: consultant, student, analyst, banker, programmer. Graduation dawns upon us and we remain just as confused during New Student Orientation—if not more with the sudden awareness of the complexities of life. Creatures of habit, we flock to the road most trodden—mapped out paths associated with success. Wall Street, Consulting, US Weekly top graduate school programs, Teach for America or the Peace Corps.

We are disgruntled.

Even when our choices have shrunk, lessening anxiety, we still remain grim. More success-focused than normal, high-achievers heatedly seek social validation of their accomplishments. Fear of failure nullifies the initial paradox of choice and leaves over-achievers with a Hobson’s choice.

I’m still struggling with a solution, but my awareness that this thought loop can help me catch myself from progressing towards a negative cycle of risk-aversion.

Generation [insert]

Pitfalls of pigeonholing

Millenials.

Lazy. Selfish. Unmotivated.

Unfortunately, vestiges of “Generation X” still remain as the model for describing our generation. Frankly, my peers are some of the most industrious, sleep-deprived individuals I’ve met. I disagree with using the term Millenials to herd a supposed generation of individuals into pre-packaged products for convenience and ease in research analysis. If a model must exist, I suggest a simple split to better incorporate the divergent developmental stages that exist in most generations that span twenty years: early emerging and late.

The Millenials don’t have a shared historical moment that shapes our identity like the Vietnam War, the March on Washington, World War II, or even 9/11 at the turn of the century. Even with the existence of such an event, I think discounting the importance of the lifespan development is ignorant.

Many notable academic institutions have been quick to define the generations after the Baby Boomers. However, I argue that within all generations and not just Millenials there exists a slight rift which divides a generation into early emerging (children of the 40s/80s) vs. late (children of the 50s/90s).

A generation can provide more informative findings if divided into two separate decades. Waiting to stereotype an entire generation until it reaches the threshold of late adulthood — 60 and older—can ensure that specific developmental psycho-social crisis get addressed. How a young adult versus an emerging adult deals with an international war is radically different. Wherein lies the logic behind forcing our young generation of adults into a cookie-cutter mold when we are still developing and learning who we are?

Baby Boomers were not subject to the same label imprisonment. In fact, the term baby boom wasn't coined until the 1970s. Millenials arose around 2000 when the oldest in that generation were still in their twenties and the youngest still in kindergarten.

Originally a term describing a demographic phenomenon, Baby Boomers grew out of the prolonged post-war baby boom. American adults of that generation experienced similar standards of living and cultural phenomenons. Let me repeat: Baby boomers describes a demographic phenomenon.

The difference between universal developmental stages in life and novel demographic changes revealed through census data is a marked distinction that should not blend.

If we look at demographic data again, Millenials could easily adopt the name “Baby Bumpers” or “Baby Spikers.” The only special demographic trend visible is a small spike or bump around 1990. Maybe, “Baseline Babies” or the “Baseliners” is an even better name. But, I get it. Millenials is catchier.

In 2000, William Straus and Neil Howe coined the term Millenials which spiraled into viral fame around. While Baby Boomers gradually developed, Millenials stemmed from a sudden need to label and classify a rising future generation of adults. My dislike towards grand over-arching umbrella terms aside, exactly what striking similarities exist between the 1980s and the 1990s?

Maybe it’s drugs?

The crack epidemic plagued the United States from 1984 till the end of the decade. Long before Breaking Bad, Meth had already entered America throughout the 1990s. Heroin gained momentum throughout. Currently, I witness Ecstasy as the predominant drug of choice for youth, but 80s babies did experiment with it as teenagers during the 1990s. Drug prevalence was common, but is it a strong enough characteristic to define a generation? I would argue that a stronger commonality is the death of musical legends. Freddie Mercury from Aids, Kurt Cobain from suicide, and Tupac/Biggie from the gang wars.

Economics?

Reagan-omics sparked economic growth till the market crash at the turn of the decade, and the tech bubble pushed the economy forward in the 1990s. The biggest similarity is the repeat of a boom and bust cycle in venture capital that occurred in both decades. Economics were pretty stable throughout both periods.

Technology?

The rise of computers in the 1980s and the proliferation of the personal computer in the 1990s. Both generations remember an age of VCRs, CDs, and the hated tone of dial-up that repeated for hours while we watched a blurry yellow man connect us to the internet. Similar enough for you?

I’m still skeptical.

I see more logic in dividing a generation into two decades until that generation reaches an equal place in their lifespan. The early emerging and late Baby Boomers. The early emerging and late Millenials.

In fact, each generation undergoes an emerging phase and a late or emerged phase. This avoids any stereotypes, but truly addresses the dynamic developmental life changes we all experience. I stand partially corrected. We can label a generation, but we need to consider developmental changes to avoid confining people to broad labels. So, children of the 1980s were at one point emerging Millenials and are now late Millenials while children of the 1990s are currently emerging Millenials that are yet to enter young adulthood.

Knowing the history behind labels educates us about the reasons for their existence. I don’t agree with using a demographic phenomenon to describe a supposed culturually distinct generation restricted to a twenty year gap. Precedence should always be questioned and fully understood.

As an emerging adult, I know that my identity crisis is normal. Having a pre-defined identity forced down my throat only adds to my frustrations as I realize that my generation has yet to come of age. The same probably held true for Baby Boomers and Generation X (what an unlucky name.)

[ As an aside, I find the similarities between late adulthood and emerging adults fascinating. We both experience a sense of confusion at the lack of defined roles in modern society while dealing with our newly found freedom. I’m curious if perhaps a new role for late adults could be as mentors for emerging adults. They could provide the guidance, wisdom, and support we need while we provide a possible newly found sense of purpose into their lives. ]

Let’s talk smarter and listen more.

We need a robust conversation about this. Few people have life packaged together with satin ribbons at any age, especially in their Twenties. Understanding that life isn’t a color-by-number sheet, a chase for perfection, or even a blank canvas, but instead, a roaring ocean helps make our struggles more bearable. I know a few people are rolling their eyes. If this is so obvious then why are we not spreading the word?

Few people ever discuss their job dissatisfaction, fear of lonely spinsterhood and empty bachelorhood, or general angst about identity confusion. I see Instagram and Facebook posts strategically structured to incite FOMO and a slew of hashtags that put super-sized Chick-fil-a waffle fries to shame. My life is so fun. My life is meaningful. My work is fantastic. Lies.

When a plane crashes into the sea, we struggle to swim, but we immediately seek other survivors. Go seek out friends, family, mentors, or even a group of strangers. Happiness isn’t an apogee. Happiness is a joint collaborative. I ask you to question the supposed novelty of our emerging Millenial generation. We pursue creation, entrepreneurship, true love, success, and positive change for social good. But are we the only ones doing this? Don’t nurture jealousy or hatred. Let’s not inflate our heads with an egotistical sense of superiority and Crusade-like purpose.