Poem for a toxic frenemy

I am not afraid of you.

I know you wish I was.

You aren’t the start or end of me.

You are the nothing between the good bits.

I know how to break you.

I don’t.

I’m on some higher road.

Your misery is not worth my limited time.

I’ve seen you trying to weave your narrative tapestry all around me.

Making my issues your problems,

My friends your enemies.

But I see all the loose threads.


I don’t

Fit in the

Spaces you created for


I’m more 3D than you gave me credit for,

A little taller than your puzzle,

More cynical round the eyes.

I’m not afraid of you.

Though you try to make it so.

I can drown you out.

Like the TV drowns out the unrelenting dialogue in my head.

I experience you like a story, playing out in front of my eyes. I get swept along through the chapters, the decisions are never mine.

You always were more stubborn than me.

I see how fucking furiously you want to win. But the prize isn’t something I want.

I’m not afraid of you.

Even though you tried your hardest.

I don’t need your brand of ‘perfectionanddissapointment’

You keep your victory if it’s that important, I’ll keep my sanity instead.

I hope you feel how lonely you really are.

Maybe, one day, you’ll realise…

…there’s a reason for that.

I’ve been writing from a young age. I always used to write poetry.

I took a break from poetry about 12 years ago, because everything I wrote was too angry.

This is my first poem for 12 years. I forgot how cathartic it is. How delightfully playful you can be with words.

To those of you who prefer rhyming poetry — #sorrynotsorry

I never did follow poetic rules.

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