Puuuh. Sometimes I have a hard time to start to write. You probably know the feeling when you are an overthinker just like me.
My life happens in my head most of the time. I live a very interesting, active, agitated life. In my head. It’s actually pretty fulfilling. It might not look like it from the outside. Because I don’t do that much. The thing is though, when I do something, I do it intentionally. Because I was thinking about it at least 10 times beforehand.
Confronting my fears is my strategy that I chose to let life guide me to where I am supposed to be, what I am supposed to do and with who I am supposed to spend my time with. Right now ”confronting my fears“ means to me to often not to do anything and to surrender to my cluelessness.
To wait, chill and be. I’m still fulfilling my duties. Though, instead of trying to force and push things, I step back. I make space for new ideas and thoughts to arise on my inner horizon. Eventually something scary and/or exciting comes up and then I act on it. Because I know I am supposed to. It’s my intuition, my gut feeling that tells me to do so.
These moments happen less and less tough. More space, more boredom in between. That’s why it’s even more important that I become more conscious of my thoughts, my feelings, and all the signs that present themselves to me from the outside world.
Confronting my fears today means to me to:
Keep painting (although I might feel it’s not exciting and creative and special enough).
Keep working on my project subcultours (although I feel scared that it won’t pick up anymore as a business).
Keep writing (although I feel I am not qualified or skilled enough).
Keep sharing my feelings to my new romantic partner (although I feel scared that he’s not reciprocating my feelings and lets me down).
Keep chilling, resting and sleeping (although I fear of missing out and not doing enough to make progress).
Keep allowing myself to feel the hard and heavy feelings inside of me (and not running away from them like I used to in the past).
