Intuitive Healer Katarina Winslow
reflects on love

Published in togethermag.eu February 2019

It is that time of the year again when we are supposed to, and sometimes even asked to be, romantic. We are encouraged to see the world through rose-tinted glasses and cherish our loved ones. The pinker, the better. Candle lights are decorating the restaurant tables for us to be still and look deep into each other’s eyes. When we feel this good, love is natural. In the moments of romance, we feel committed to the wellbeing of our partner, without condition. To be romantic is to be in a position of generosity towards the other. In love, we feel safe in being on the giving and receiving end. Saint Valentin is here for us to really see and connect to the person that is in our heart. Romantic love is wonderful at its best and painful as its worst. When we embrace love, when we are in the state of love, we see the beauty in feeling united as one. But for love to last you need to also feel like one and united within yourself, with and without the beloved. Otherwise, it won’t be long before the ego of each person start to feel uncomfortable with the ‘oneness’ that love has created.
After a while, when the first pink clouds start to disperse, people start asking whose ‘oneness’ is it that we have actually created. In love, we go from feeling wholly united with the other, abandoning our self in the union, often wanting to regain our authentic selves and our independence and identity. The transition from the first infatuation to lasting love is softer when two people in love are whole within themselves. When you are whole, love is less subject to disappointments and failure as you bring your unity into the wholeness of love. Love is easier when it comes not from need but from the desire to experience more of yourself in the mirror of the other.
But what is love in its essence? Love is just that, wholeness. Love is the unity we feel in the first moments of new love. Love is the absence of fear. Love is the feeling of complete oneness with the other and everything beyond. Love is also the truth of who we are before entering the dual reality of terrestrial life. Love is, to put it simply, an absolute feeling of being whole and united. Looking deeper, we find that love is our essence. Love is the one thing that remains when we remove all the illusions of ourselves. Love is our center.
Love is where we came from, and love is where we will return.
Unfortunately, the illusion that keeps us from feeling whole and united has multiple layers. We all probably have at least one thing that we believe about ourselves that can take us out of the state of love in a heartbeat. We all carry illusions about ourselves and about others that we have gathered during our childhood and upbringing, and new ones, throughout life.
At the end of the day, we all live our lives from our personal illusionary veil of reality. Everything is an illusion. If you are curious about this idea of illusion, you will find more answers in Don Miguel Ruiz’s book “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom.”
The illusions that keep us from loving ourselves can be things like; I am not good enough, I am too much, I am worthless, I am bad, or simply I am not allowed to be. The biggest illusion of all could even be that I am not allowed to exist. The illusions we might carry about others could be things like; others are not trustworthy, others don’t care about me, others think I am awkward, or others don’t want me to be here. Of course, if we walk around with these kinds of illusionary beliefs, it is difficult to feel whole. There is always a disturbing element that is wanting to destroy our wholeness and peace, our feelings of love. It is as if we have a pin that we use to prick a hole in our love balloon. Whenever our thoughts of ‘less than’ and ‘not good enough’ surface in our minds, the pink air evaporate quickly. The mind, or the ego, is an expert at piercing our love balloons and keep us suffering, keep us separated from love. The ego is our pin. And love is our balloon. We all have one of each.
Looking at it in this light, one could imagine how beautiful the world would be if we all just threw away our pins. Then the only thing left on this earth would be loving balloons, surfacing the planet. Wow, then the world would be pink and fluffy. Everybody would just be floating together, high in the sky. Letting the air we breathe lift us to higher grounds and allowing the sunshine on our whole and heart-centered beings. There would be no threats to our balloons. In that reality, we would be able to keep the feeling of wholeness at all times.
Now, this is difficult for us as human beings, because we need our egos to keep us safe. The pin we carry is there for a reason; it is part of our survival mechanism. It is the ego that keeps us from not walking out into the street without looking. It is the ego that protects us and guards us against dangers. The ego is the sword we can protect and defend ourselves with.
But it is also the one thing that keeps us from feeling whole and feeling love. The ego is an expert at suffering, as it keeps us separated from the wholeness. But we can change the ego’s role into being the friend that gently reminds us that we are not where we are supposed to be, with your thoughts and your feelings. Let it be the light that illuminates how far from the love you are. When you feel bad and separated, let the discomfort be a sign of how far away from your essence you have traveled. Each time the ego speaks thoughts of separation, ring the bells of love. Bring yourself back to wholeness as often as you can. Always bring yourself back to love.
Let it be a bell that tells you that you are in the wrong place. When you feel bad and separated, it is very simple. You feel this way because your entire being is yelling at you, “You are in the wrong place!”. It is as if your whole being says, “Do I need to make you feel even worse before you understand that you are not where you are supposed to be?” …