Thailand Part II: The time I threw an iceball at a Taiwanese dermatologist

Anyway. Back to the vacation :)

For Grace’s birthday, we went on a boat tour of some of the nearby islands, which was AWESOME! (Chloe was hell-bent on getting her a ladyboy stripper, but Grace wasn’t having it so we settled on the boat thing) There were about 30 people total on the tour and we all crammed into a mid-sized speedboat driven by a tiny Thai man whose ponytail seemed to be in a different spot on his head every time we saw him. None of the people giving the boat tours seemed particularly bothered about safety. We cruised from island to island at breakneck speed, crashing over the waves. It was a bit like going on a roller coaster, I remember Amber saying “I think my stomach is actually outside my body” at one point. Chloe was loving it, and Grace and I were pretty much hanging on for dear life haha

The best snorkeling was at the first island. There were dozens of stripy blue and yellow fish. I picked up some amazing shells straight out of the water, and I saw a sea urchin. Later, one of the other girls on the tour stepped on one. 5 inch black spines sticking out of her foot. While snorkeling, Chloe got a weird triangular sting from some unknown sea creature the boat tour guy described as ‘white and smaller than a sea urchin.’ As I said, paradise is dangerous ;)

At the next island, I mainly just sat in the shade. After 3 days, my burned skin had blistered spectacularly. I looked like I’d just stepped out of a Nike commercial — covered in little droplets of water. Minus the rock-hard abs, of course ;) But I did manage to get these pictures.

The third island was by far my favorite. It was the closest to the untouched paradise I’d been hoping to glimpse. The shells I found were the best I’ve ever collected, like ones you’d buy in a store.

The boat tour was by far the most active thing we did. After that we pretty much stuck to being beach bums, strolling down to the pier and lying on the beach. Done with the sun and medium-rare, I enjoyed the rest of my vacation from underneath an umbrella.

Here are some panoramas Chloe took of two of the beaches.

On our last evening in Koh Samed, we rented motorbikes again to get to the other side of the island, where we could watch the sunset.

By the time we reached the airport in Bangkok, I could definitely feel myself starting to go downhill. 7 days after I initally got burned the blisters gave way to big raw patches of skin that itched and burned worse than I thought possible. We all got home around 2am, Amber to Taipei and Grace, Chloe and I to Hsinchu. Luckily for us, Richard very kindly rented a car and came to pick us up. After that, I basically slept until the following evening. Big mistake.

As I later learned from Google, burns are the most dehydrating type of injury. Plane rides are also dehydrating, and then I slept the day away without drinking much, so by the time Richard got me to the dermatologist I was dizzy, confused and overheated. Taiwanese people are pretty image conscious. That is, they don’t go out in public with wet hair, and usually are at least somewhat discerning in how they dress. So showing up in my sweatpants with my sweaty hair stuck to my face turned every head in the office. The receptionist tentatively handed me an iceball and motioned for us to sit down. Richard kept asking me easy questions that I somehow wasn’t able to answer, like what’s Grace’s phone number and I became more and more upset. Since crying in public is extremely embarrassing to Taiwanese people, the nurse quickly ushered us back into the doctor’s office, away from all the staring patients in the waiting room. I don’t really remember the conversation with the dermatologist, but apparently it went something like this:

Taiwanese dermatologist: Hello excuse me? What is your name?

Kate: (blank stare)

Taiwanese dermatologist: Hello can you hear me?

Kate: (bursts into tears)

Taiwanese dermatologist: Can you speak English?

Kate: No! I speak Chineeeese!!

Taiwanese dermatologist: Can you speak Chinese?!

Kate: Nooooooooo!!

Taiwanese dermatologist: Okay uhh, who is he? (points to Richard)

Kate: She’s a Richard (sobbing)

Taiwanese dermatologist: Do you know who am I?

Kate: I don’t KNOW you!!!!!!

Taiwanese dermatologist: Uhh okay. Do you know where is here?

Kate: Taiwan? Taiwan. THAILAND!!!

Taiwanese dermatologist: Oh, uh, okay, please can you — calm down now please?

Kate: NO!!!! (throws iceball at Taiwanese dermatologist)

After that exchange, Richard tells me I completely lost it and they couldn’t get another coherent sentence out of me. This led them to believe I must have been suffering from some sort of overdose and sent us to the emergency room. Poor Richard called our friends Alice and Tyson, scootered over to Grace’s school and pulled her out of class to help him rummage through my apartment to find any medication I could have overdosed on. (Of course, I didn’t actually have one, I was just dehydrated and had a fever) The whole thing culminated in a saline IV, an industrial-sized tub of burn cream and a frazzled Richard having to tell my mom the doctors thought I’d ODed (which of course I hadn’t).

It’s a testament to the awesome-ness of Thailand that I still had an amazing vacation and I’d definitely go back again. (Though I’d definitely bathe in sunscreen and wear a tent on the beach.) (I’m obviously fine now, still rather pink but back to normal and looking back on a fantastic time and a funny story.)

Thanks for reading, more soon on Taiwan life and travels :)