Precarity, the Misery Cat
I wrote a poem about precarious employment in universities, because silly verse is my favoured medium for talking about issues close to my heart. This issue isn’t close to my heart because my employment is precarious, but because I get a sort of sick feeling whenever I hear about friends or colleagues on zero-hours and/or short-term contracts. I’m not OK with this.
Casualisation affects all of us. It affects those of us who are juggling multiple jobs to pay the bills, those of us whose labour is building their institution’s reputation for ‘excellence’ while they themselves are considered disposable; those of us being told that being one of the ‘lucky’ ones is worth a little burnout; those of us who keep losing good colleagues; and, of course, the students.
And it has a disproportionate impact on those who are already discriminated against. The Four Fights are interlinked.
I could say a lot more on this, but you’re busy and I’m tired. So, here’s the poem.
Precarity, the misery Cat
A poem about working conditions in universities, with apologies to T S Eliot
Precarity’s a strategy to pay less for our work
By pretending that stability’s some bed-of-roses perk
The VC’s safe as houses, while the rank and file despair
Crying “Never mind the stakeholders –Precarity’s not fair!”
Precarity, Precarity, there’s nothing like Precarity
To show you how they value you with quite unwelcome clarity
While no-one’s safe, our risk of being burdened’s not the same
No -somehow it’s the women, the disabled, and the BAME
What bolsters inequality? What is the sector’s shame?
What stresses out the workforce? Aye, Precarity’s to blame!
The precarious are shattered, we’ve got little left to give
You’ll know us if you see us, for we’ve lost the will to live
Our brows are deeply lined with stress, our heads are full of worry
As from our zero-hours to our nought-point-two we scurry
Trying not to look too scary as the caffeine makes us shake’
Cause though you think we’re half asleep, we’re really half awake…
Precarity, Precarity, there’s nothing like Precarity
Requests for fair adjustments will be met with much hilarity
Why should we move OUR meetings when you’re hardly ever here?
Don’t like it? You’re disposable. Precarity, my dear!
It’s outwardly respectable (that’s Higher Ed, alright)
But the figures that emerge after an FOI-ish fight
Show the ranks of the precarious are swelling year on year
Now, some say it’s not our problem cause it’s much worse there than here
You know, like:
“First they came for the people on zero-hours teaching contracts in the post-92s,
and I said, ‘Well, they knew what they were signing up for…’”
Sod that, we’re a union, and Precarity’s not fair!
So, when a student finds their favourite tutor’s gone away
‘Let go’ to fund more building (though their REF submissions stay)
Remaining colleagues scramble to pitch in because they care
They shouldn’t have to do it, but Precarity’s not fair
And when the loss has been absorbed, the boss is bound to say
“Oh, you’re doing fine WITHOUT them!” in that terrifying way
“We can make some more efficiencies, according to my spreadsheet
“My workload model says that one in five of you are dead meat!”
And as we’re worked to pieces, and the leaky pipeline bubbles
Redundancies are threatened, and the VC’s bonus doubles
As we’re ground down into profit, and morale is past repair
I offer you a simple truth –Precarity’s not fair!
Precarity, Precarity, there’s nothing like Precarity
Come gather round –it’s time to find our strength in solidarity
They use us to build ‘excellence’, then say we’re going spare
Well, we’re going spare alright – enough! Precarity’s not fair!
