How to be a Comp Teacher

Step one: collect papers from all five classes the same week.
Step two: sort and count papers. Make detailed time management plan to get them all graded by Friday.
Step three: shove papers into folders.
Step four: shove folders into big black bag.
Step five: lug big black bag around for several days, complaining about how many papers are in it. Be sure to neglect other responsibilities because you have so many papers to grade, but — this part is important — do not grade papers.
Step six: revise step two since initial plan was doomed from the start.
Step seven: grade five papers, feel virtuous, pour drink, watch Mad Men.
Step eight: tell students they’ll get their damn papers back on Monday.

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