Hey, 2014 Me.

An Adorably Trite First Medium Post

Motherhood, parental loss, career change. After that hat trick of life events, I assert that I’m given a pass to kick off my Medium page with a letter of reflection to my former self. And on that note…

Hey, former self. Just a heads up that a tough year is coming.

You’ll sleep through most of January, but in February things will really heat up. You’re gonna have a baby! You’ll name him Gus, he’ll be five days early, and he will be so incredibly awesome.

Your transformation into parenthood will still be hard, though. It’s hard for everybody, but luckily you’ll find more and more people who are honest about that.

A few weeks after Gus arrives, your dad will lose his battle with cancer. You won’t believe that the world took your best friend at the same time it gave you a child — but the daily routine of caring for a newborn will actually save you from your grief. (Side note: business/philanthropic idea to pair orphaned newborns with those who have recently lost loved ones. This could work. But maybe puppies instead…at least to start.)

You’ll be forced to keep putting one foot in front of the other until eventually you can look back on your happiest memories without crying. You’ll tell Gus stories about his grandpa everyday, and you’ll see him every time Gus smiles (which will be a lot, that kid is happy).

Oh right, and there’s work. I’m happy to report you will feel surprisingly ready to return to the office after maternity leave! And you’ll even strike a pretty great balance that makes both you and your family feel fulfilled and happy. You’ll be awed by the love, grace and support from your husband, but not surprised by it.

But, I’m sorry to tell you that the company you loved so much is going to change, and it won’t fit the changes you’ve gone through — not even a little. You won’t recognize the faces around you, and eventually you won’t have a place there.

This will be the best thing to happen to you all year. But I’m not going to spoil all the good stuff now.

What I will say is, wowza, will you grow. You’ll expand your mind, your network, your understanding of the human experience and your capacity to love.

You’ll even start a medium page and write a letter to your former self.

But you’ll be proud. And you’ll know you’re making your dad proud, too. So buckle up, and enjoy your rest while you can. You’ll be earning it soon.

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