I’m so sorry this happened to you, and to so many others, and continues to.
I don’t have a permanent disability, so I can only try to imagine, and I appreciate your sharing these details of your experiences.
I did once have a long illness that made it difficult to be upright for more than about thirty minutes at a time and impossible to walk more than about a hundred feet or stand for more than a minute or two. Simply bathing was an ordeal. I had a temporary disabled tag for my car, which made it possible to leave the house for very short errands (mostly doctor visits), but as in your case, dealing with a wheelchair would have made things more difficult, not less, and even though it was many years ago, I still recall the nasty looks I’d get for using those parking spots. So in the rare trips out of my house, the brief windows I wasn’t obviously ill or straight-up vomiting, I got to feel bad for not looking as terrible as I felt.
At the time I wrote that I wouldn’t wish that whole experience on my worst enemy. While that’s still true, I do wish there were an easier way for people to learn compassion and empathy. Until then, I suppose respect and tact will have to do.