25 life lessons at 25

25 life lessons at 25

  1. Hi, say hi to people. Especially people that you don’t agree with. If someone is being a jerk to you remember- if you ignore them you are only ignoring the problem.
  2. Being a vegan is not for everyone, neither is protesting, or supporting a cause to be cool, or skydiving, or going to school, or having babies. But the people that do that stuff are lesser people than you, so you should go ahead and fight on facebook for hours about why you’re a better person before you go to work at McDonalds.
  3. It’s better to be funny than offended. People who get offended all the time are no fun to hang out with and will often complain about how fake people are. Well, if you don’t want fake people then DON’T GET OFFENDED ALL THE TIME.
  4. I like cheese but my body doesn’t like cheese. Eat the cheese because you won’t have your body forever. But that’s some soul cheese -especially Brie.
  5. Listen twice as much as you talk because if you don’t listen to any facts you’re just going to sound like an idiot when you talk- a believable idiot because you’ve had a lot of practice in talking like you know everything.
  6. Watch your step because sidewalk cracks and bumps and porches come out of nowhere. Like when did your friends become successful enough to own their own porch? A porch says you probably have a family and those kids fall down your porch too.
  7. When you see pokemon cards at Walmart- don’t buy them it’s a 90’s trap. You will want to often relive your childhood but pokemon cards are nothing like they used to be and you’ll end up with a fake Charzard that looks like a McDonalds prize pack.
  8. Pokemon Go is okay. I’m still on level 7 and probably will be for the rest of my adult life.
  9. If you don’t have a real job by 25 it’s okay, just don’t be on your 5th kid.
  10. It’s okay to judge people even though people say it’s bad. This generation grew up sensitive and weak. Make them stronger by saying things to their face that you would normally just say on Facebook.
  11. Disagreeing with people is a big part of life and you should embrace all of the differences.
  12. Peanutbutter, jelly and oreos on a sandwich actually tastes pretty good.
  13. If you don’t like your boyfriend it’s okay- you can always get a new one.
  14. You also don’t need a boyfriend to complete you. Just some wine, chocolate and empty soulless hookups should do the trick.
  15. Be the person you want to be when nobody is watching. Everyone is just on their phones anyways- not giving a crap about you.
  16. Turning 16 was not like the movies because where was my high school sweetheart that I would eventually marry? It was more like “The Perfect Storm” or “Jaws” because teenage boys can’t kiss right.
  17. Being 17 in college is a blessing not a curse because all of your friends are already 21 when you go to celebrate your 21st and nobody will miss out on your epic birthday.
  18. Living with boys taught me that it’s really hard to be just friends with a guy and it’s probably not smart to hook up with your roommate.
  19. Just be as crazy as possible without dying. But still study to keep your parents happy.
  20. Watch cartoons
  21. There’s going to be a bunch of times- not just one time where you are completely alone, and you have no friends, and you’re at a bar looking around for them and realize you’re drinking your best friend then you question whether or not you’re an alcoholic and go into deeper questions like what is the meaning of life and what has my life come down to at Taco Bell at 3 am.? And why don’t I still have my beer?
  22. Drunk crying
  23. osijfnduben8rurng4 oioe8hignd ukdh98re will totally make sense
  24. I can live with someone sometimes but most of the time I can’t live with myself
  25. I’m alive today. And that’s pretty cool or not depending on how I’m feeling today. But 50% of the time it’s worth it.
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