…ked out of us for even the slightest effeminate behavior. As kids, you threw your worst against us. We’ve been laughed at, threatened, beaten, sexually assaulted. Wash, rinse, repeat. “Faggot” and “sissy” and “girl”, we’ve heard it all. Maybe back then we weren’t strong enough to take it. We lost many friends along the way. Maybe we faked our way through the closet life to appease your bullying. And yet, fuck you, we’re still here. You got such perverse pleasure calling us girls back in the day and now you’re fucking mad that you’re right? Get. The. Entire. Fuck. Out. Of. Here.
the future i live now was quite unimaginable then. i was already trying to unlearn myself, to envision the future my parents wanted to live vicariously through me. school years and summer vacations, college and jobs stretched endlessly ahead of me. every step of the next two decades of my life predetermined. every one of my gestures calculated to ensure my safety by satisfying my mother’s needs.