Namesake, or: Tips for T***

I wouldn’t be telling you anything you didn’t already know by restating the following: this blog is a mess. A hot mess.

That’s right girl!

Viz., the original intent of this blog was to document my moving beyond the commonly held expectations of society writ large and, instead, trying to develop several streams of income around my numerous passions. These were to include running, reading, writing, speaking, coaching, consulting, et al.

In other words (and in keeping with the namesake of this blog) I wanted to show my hustle. I wanted to share how and where I was going to find my petty cash and why I was willing to go the unconventional route when so many wanted me to do the exact opposite in order to be ‘happy’.

But yea, we all know how well that went and what happens to the best laid plans of mice and men.

Petty cash my a**.

What I mean to say here is that I got scared, diverted to a ‘safe’ job in Corporate America, began to receive a steady paycheck, and then got caught up in the not-so-healthy running scene that left me feeling like a big fat phony.

But hey, what else did you expect from a gal who tends to go a bit overboard on just about every endeavor she takes on?

In retrospect, I suppose I did document my journey. It just wasn’t the straight and narrow once I had envisioned or wanted to present to my readers and it certainly wasn’t my idea of making money and hustling or being a ‘hustler’ or a ‘go-getter’ or a ‘trep’.

Like I said, though, I got scared and then I lost my confidence and then I lost my way and then I tried to rebuild my self-esteem and…

well how about this by way of analogy: if we were to replace my wanting to make money doing what I love with a plastic surgery addiction, then there’d be no doubt I’d have already been featured on an episode of Botched, which is just another one of those I-know-I-shouldn’t-watch-TV -shows-because-it-plays-on-peoples-emotions, but I am sick and twisted (and have admitted as much) and who doesn’t love a good train-wreck on the ol’ telly late at night?

Yup. It’s the crap on the inside…

But this dark cloud (i.e. my ranting about my blog) does have a silver lining: I’m finally hustling.

No, really, for the first time in my life I feel like a real hustler.

I may not be earning the biggest paycheck from the most impressive company, but I have all of my expenses paid for and I am earning tips based on how well I perform my duties.

I know that probably sounds trite considering the term ‘performance-based pay’ is completely overused in the bizdev world these days, but I would like to take a moment to reflect on those instances where the IRS isn’t entirely knee-deep in your professional portfolio as well as those instances where your side earnings really can buy you anything you want guilt free.

For instance:

Need a new car? No problem! Avoid a loan and pay with cash!

Want to take a class? Super! Have your bank send the money to the registrar in no time flat!

A little short on spending money? Don’t worry about it! Don’t forget that you just earned a couple bucks for smiling and being polite!

Now, I’m not going to go too far out on this limb and say that every job should be performance-based since I’m sure there are some occupations where a salary simply makes more sense.

Conversely, I don’t want to swing too far in the opposite direction and claim that prostitution is a great career choice.

It’s not.

There’s just something to be said about getting immediate feedback based on the number and frequency of greenbacks you receive for a job well done. It’s all right there sans second-guessing yourself or worrying whether or not you’ll be fired tomorrow.

It’s also reassuring to know that if you did decide to make a career move toward the more salacious of career pursuits, you can always use your tips for t***.

I mean, that is one way to invest in your future, right?

You either have the most naturally beautiful breasts I’ve ever seen

or I need the name of your doctor.

I’m kidding.

Well, perhaps not.