A Resurrected Perspective

I was listening to a sermon done by Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation church (He is by far one of the best in explaining scripture and has an incredible series of books I highly recommend) he was preaching on Easter Sunday. He spoke about a “Resurrected perspective” and that’s exactly what I prayed for. I’ll be honest, I hadn’t prayed for quite some time and when I heard that talk, it was almost like a renewed desire to pray. I have a tendency of falling asleep without praying nights at a time. I pray throughout the day but the idea of how I am “supposed” to pray at night have been drilled in my mind which then leads to guilt thus, these thoughts were born;

When I think of prayer/ meditation, I like to think of it as if just for a moment, when we need a timeout, we close our eyes click our heels three times and say “there’s no place like home”. We appear in an alluring royal mansion, rays of the sun piercing through the windows, dining room tables dressed in the most luxurious linens. There’s a spread of lavish goods as we are devouring humility and grace, we indulge in sweet gratitude, clarity and peace and when we open our eyes. It’s as if we have just come back from a spiritual banquet. Our appetite for love and wholeness is satisfied. Just like a flower needs nourishment and water to grow we need guidance. Whether you believe in God, Jesus, Zeus or the moon. We can all agree on one thing. This is our temporary home. Just how temporary, no one knows.

It’s been said that our lifespan is equivalent to a blink of an eye in a cosmic perspective. As we all know, life can change from moment to moment for the better or the worse. I believe that we are never prepared for what’s next but that’s not an excuse to live life on auto pilot. If this is our temporary home, what are we creating to make it outlast us? What are we leaving behind? How do you want to be remembered? Why not globally impact people’s lives in a positive way? A nurse revealed the top 5 regrets people make on their death beds and two of the most common ones where these:

“I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

“I wish I had the courage to express my feelings”

Man…I don’t know about you, but this hit home.

Lets talk about it.

Remember when you were younger and a grown up asked you that age-old question with a big condescending smile and squinted eyes? “So…What do you want to be when you grow up?” Do you remember your answer? I sure do! I wanted to do it all, from being in a circus to going into space to being on the cover of a magazine. What I wanted to do was extremely tangible for me, I naively thought it was for everyone. I didn’t care how I would do it, I just knew I wanted to. I’m sure your experience was similar. Fast forward a few years, those big dream bubbles got smaller and smaller because they weren’t being fed. Fear and doubt creeped in everytime I thought of something Id like to do with my life- I allowed others to speak into my life and doing that caused a whole lot of confusion. Like anything, when theres confusion, theres negative and thats no place for a dream to thrive.

All I heard was; “Get a job that will pay you a lot of money”

I didn’t really have a concept of money growing up, I mean, who did? Maybe those who actually had it! I remember being invited to the mall by a group of girls that just, like, totally loved shopping (insert twirling hair emoji here) OF COURSE I just wouldn’t be cool if I didn’t go and these girls were so cool. I run to my mom excitedly and beg “Can I have money to go shopping?” and she looked at me with tired eyes as she just came home from her 2nd job that day and said “Sure”. I instantly started day-dreaming of all the things I could get and feeding on that instant gratification. The paper hit my eager hand and I was out the door. I get to the mall and we’re all at a store and the girls and I were just rummaging through clothes like the Tasmanian devil and finally we picked out what we wanted. We were approaching the cashier and everyone took their money out. I reach in my wallet and I look down and see five dollars. Five dollars?? Seriously? These girls had hundreds. I was infuriated. I was mortified. Was this a joke? Needless to say, I didn’t get anything but a nauseated feeling in my stomach that day. Thank God there was no cell phones then, or a 10-year-old temper tantum would have followed suit. What I didn’t know, was that was the only cash my mom had after she bought food to put on the table for dinner and she was just let go from her job. But….what would they think was all I could care about.

They.

That word at that time categorized the people who all my insecurities latched on to. What’s funny is most the time “they” don’t even exist. It’s just a cowardly fictional way to blame the masses for you not attaining your idea or someone else’s idea of perfection. That is a harsh realization but true for me.

It takes a lot of self awareness to be transparent. Writing is something I love to do but for me, sharing it with the world is scary. Transparency is scary and when were scared we hide. But what if, that very thing youre scared for is that very thing that could make a difference in the world.

Transparency leads to honesty, honesty leads to vulnerability. vulnerability, while some perceive it as weakness, is more so a strength.

Vulnerability is the connection from one person to another. Connection is what our inner children long for but we’ve adapted to this “tough guy/girl” facade. Most the time ego, pride and insecurities get in the way of true connection. You can block a lot of opportunities when you have no handle on your thoughts and when you allow other peoples perception of you rule over what was planned for you. It took me a long time to realize not only who I am but whos I am.

I dont know where you are, who you are and what youre looking for but I hope you know the one who made the universe and every majestic being on this earth, also made you and I. On purpose, for a purpose.