A survey earlier this year by JDP revealed that 77% of people admitted they’d researched a potential date online before meeting them. And terrifyingly, 40% of people admitted they’d cancelled a date because of what they’d discovered.
What’s the most off-putting thing people might discover about you? It’s not your political views or your terrible spelling.
It’s your ex.
When I worked with Match as their Relationship Expert, we commissioned a survey into how singles research dates. …
In dating, we’re all either Dogs or Cats. Not in preference, but in personality.
Dogs: tactile, enthusiastic, emotional, malleable.
Cats: aloof, poised, independent, groomed.
In long-term relationships, Dogs are the best partners. Think of the faithful companion, sticking with you ( doggedly) through life’s ups and downs. They’ll eat whatever you eat. They’ll joyfully accompany you on any adventure or just sit for hours in the pub. They’re even so loyal that statues have been erected to their devotion.
Now think of a cat.
Cats sound cold, but they can be better at managing the ups and downs of early dating because they’re poised, self-preserving, and composed. …
I know you. You’re usually pretty kickass in your everyday life, and can cope with most things that life hurls your way.
Someone sexy, funny, appealing, who adds something to your life. Almost overnight, you go from Boss to Basic.
I know I’ve written a million dating and relationship books, but dating was not effortless enjoyment for me until I learned a few lessons the hard way.
I spent most of my twenties analysing conversations, overthinking throwaway remarks, and looking for any possible sign that the man I was dating was losing interest.
I never entered a relationship wondering how much I liked the guy; I always, relentlessly, focussed like a laser on simply how much he liked me. …
You know the one I mean — she’s been online-dating since they invented it, can swipe in her sleep, and is always in the middle of a passionate relationship. You love her confidence and she’s always there for you, but… Does she actually know what she’s talking about?
Over time, experience can curdle into cynicism and Ms Been There Dated Him might eventually ruin your hopes with her damning remarks. She’ll size up every new fella with one world-weary glance and take you aside to say she doesn’t trust him. Or if she does trust him, that he’s just vaguely “not good enough for you”. Funny how nobody ever is. …
“Bookmarking” is where someone suggests you get together, but never actually follows through with a plan. If this drives you nuts, you’re not alone: most of the clients I speak to have been bookmarked several times, which has really dented their confidence. Luckily, there’s a really easy way to avoid it.
First of all, let’s watch you get bookmarked. It’s a weekday morning. John is someone you’ve been out with once or twice.
5:30pm: You’ve powered through your work, furtively washed and dried your hair in the office bathroom, and put on the good shoes you keep under your desk. …
I’ve never trusted long engagements. It doesn’t require 10 years of living together to know whether or not you can stand someone.
In fact, your first instincts about people are usually blindingly accurate, and only get diluted the more you blither about.
Take my parents as an example — introduced by the first form of computer dating back in the 1960’s, they were engaged on the second date. They just knew. These days, that’s taken as a rash way to conduct emotional business.
We’re so obsessed with security and Not Getting Hurt that we have come to look upon dating as an Endurance Event. Sensible? Not really. Reluctance to take romantic risks can leave you enmeshed in long, drawn-out relationships that should really have been knocked on the head within the first hour. …