Why Does Dating Men Make Me Feel Like Shit?
Emma Lindsay

Interesting piece. There are some things I really strongly identify with and others less so. In the past I have felt that my partner wasn’t attracted to me because she would say someone like Pierce Brosnan is attractive or so and so has beautiful blue eyes (my eyes are brown) and I would feel quite unnattractive and question whether she truly desired me or not. That was weird because generally I am a fairly self confident person and I don’t care to much what others think of me. However I’m not sure whether that response is typical of a cisgendered male as I am a transwoman. Curiously since transitioning almost all of that self doubt and even jealousy has pretty much gone. Now I really don’t mind that much when she says a particular guy is attractive as despite not being attracted to women she is still with me. To me that means I must be pretty damn f#$%ing special! Similarly she doesn’t seem to mind when I say I find a particular woman attractive.

I think guys can be rediculously insecure about their sexuality and sexual status. I also think that as women we can rise above that, if they try to place their shame and insecurity onto us we can just as readily say “uh uh, you’ve got to man up and deal with that yourself if you want me”.

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