How to approach your first networking event; 3 tips from an introvert
Like a lot of people, I think of networking as a horrendously painful experience. In the weeks building up to my first networking event, I was imagining myself stood at the side of the room. Shoulders hunched over, hair hiding my face, nervously looking at my phone. The phone being some kind of security blanket I can’t put away because it’s better to appear busy or even rude than look like the person no-one wants to talk to. The concept of walking over to others is about as appealing, and dangerous (to my emotional health anyway) as jumping out of a plane. Or that’s the story I was telling myself.
Fear likes to lie a lot. Convincing little monster that it is.
Right up until the day of the event I tried to find excuses to cancel. I wasn’t feeling well, I'd left booking my hotel to the day of and now the price had gone up, I didn’t know how to answer the ‘what do you do’ question. I was better waiting until after I’d actually launched my business. I didn’t have any business cards, I'd look unprofessional.
Fighting the other corner was all the reasons I should go. I had a meeting with the owner of the company in the afternoon and I really wanted to meet him. I’d picked a young entrepreneurs network and I was really interested to see what businesses people were starting and what their stories were. I wanted to make more social connections with others doing what I'm doing (my labrador isn’t that supportive of my business, she thinks playing with tennis balls is a better use of my time).
Most importantly, I'd planned to go to this event because I wanted to push myself outside my comfort zone. The latest goal as part of the growth mentality I've been trying out. I knew I'd be hugely disappointed if I didn’t do it. Whereas if I did, no matter how badly it went, I’d be so proud of myself. Once again it came down to a fight between hope and fear. As always I had the power to choose which one would direct my actions.
I try to never let fear take the steering wheel — it’s a reckless driver that will almost always invite panic along for the ride and that’s how you end up hitting a tree.
I chose to go and hope it would go well. I quickly booked my hotel, packed and got on the road. I had more than a 3 hour drive to reach Bristol. It was a long way just attend a networking event. Not cheap either when you add up fuel costs, the now expensive hotel stay and all the other little charges like food and drink.
Why pick YENA, and their Bristol event, as my first networking event?
I needed to connect with more people doing what I was trying to do. Not those that had already made it big but those in the struggle. Role models are great and the glossy, global, super entrepreneurs are good inspiration when you’re dreaming up all the things you want to achieve. But right when you're about to step off the precipice into the unknown they can be more harmful than helpful. They can stop you taking that step because inevitably when you read these shiny success stories you compare it to who you are and where you are at now. It’s enough to make even the most confident of us turn and run in the other direction.
When you want to find the confidence to publish that first cringe worthy version of your product, send out that first blog post or start to stand up and say ‘I think what i can do is worth charging for’ you need to see other people doing the same. You need to know the world isn’t just full of uber successful, rich and glamorous entrepreneurs but struggling, insecure, frightened ones too. These kind of people you can really learn from because these people are the real deal. You find courage in their actions, lessons in their mistakes and comfort in their journey. They aren’t just inspiring but a great motivational kick to get in gear and get moving.
Because when they all have the same excuses you do? You’re left wondering what the hell you’re waiting for.
That’s why i’d chosen a network for start-ups and young entrepreneurs. They were my people. Or so I hoped. On the journey down I started to envision something other than standing alone in the corner of the bar waiting for someone to approach me. I tried to imagine approaching them first and wondered what i’d say. I needed another reason to speak to them — other than trying to sell or talking about myself because i wasn’t confident about my business yet. I thought about those attending, what they all had in common and what i was interested in finding out about them. I chose to ask ‘are you pre-start, just started, or the expert in the room here to help us newbies?’ It was relevant, it wasn’t about selling and i was genuinely interested in the answer. It was also something they could easily answer, unlike the ‘what do you do’ nightmare.
You can literally hear the sigh of relief from the other person once you’ve taken care of the hard part of starting the conversation. Everything flows much easier from then on because they can ask the same question back and you start to relate — even if it’s only about how scary this whole situation is.
YENA worked for me because the people are those i’d genuinely want to be friends with. The energy was relaxed, people talked openly and everyone was encouraging. Lots of advice was being passed around and there was absolutely no selling (that’s not to say business wouldn’t be exchanged but that wasn’t the goal of anyone there).
No, it wasn’t money being exchanged that night. It was knowledge.
I smiled to myself as I left the event, thinking these people get it. The most powerful thing you can do for yourself as a start-up is; learn as much as you can as fast as you can and gather people around you that are willing to give you a leg up. That’s what YENA is all about and why it’s now growing across the country.
I had a great time at my first networking event. I came away from it with something much more valuable than a sale. I got a confidence boost and a motivational kick to go and make my business every bit the success I want it to be.
If you’re thinking of going to your first networking event my 3 tips are:
1. Pick an event that will attract people you actually want to meet, not just the closest one to you or the free one.
2. Think about who might be attending, or better yet find out who is attending and then plan what you can ask them in advance. You’ll panic less and talk more that way.
3. Think of it not as a business generating activity but a knowledge generating activity. Try and learn as much as you can. It’ll be worth more to you over the long term.
