image by PSlenDy of Deviant Art

Dear Puppeteer,

I would say it’s nice to see you again, but it is not. You come and go and leave nothing behind except bitterness. You hold me by the throat, take control of my body, and leave me alone to stare blankly at the world. You drug me so I cannot do anything to get out of your grip. My life becomes a puppet hung by the strings that you convinced me to attach. Dear puppet master, know I will defeat you. You are far weaker than I, for I am not truly a puppet. No amount of convincing will make me one. You have left defeated countless of times and you will leave again this time around. I am human and you are merely a manipulator here to convince me I am less. The world is blurry when you come around and it is difficult to look at you in the eyes. It is as if your presence gives off a poison that causes me to be delusional, and nothing makes much sense, like a dream. You are the intruder and I am the master. You solve no problems and get rid of no unwanted thoughts. All you do is slow my rapid thinking and tell me to sleep. You take control, so I become incapable of breaking the strings. You tell me to sleep and never wake up. You tell me that is the only solution end all this chaos. When your strings fail to move me, and I realize I am not a puppet of your control, then you will leave. My life will continue on, but I will be held back. You do not control time, for every time I shook off the strings and went outside. I know the world carries on with or without me. Life continues its cycle. People broaden their horizons. After the trauma, I think of you and imagine you will never return, because dieing by my hand would be a tragedy. You will not manipulate my hands any longer. I have everything to live for, so do not convince me otherwise. I am angry and fed up. My thoughts are so loud and they do not seem to ever stop yammering away. Some days I have the desire to end it all and submit to you. There must be another way. I will not be controlled, and I will change. Puppet master I ask of you to end your hatred, because I am not leaving this world by my own hand anytime soon. You cannot not make me do that. I will quiet my thoughts, give myself peace, and you will not be angry with me. I decide how my life will be lived.

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