Why I Hate Silent Goodbyes.

I never knew what a silent goodbye was until it started happening to me. Saying goodbye to a really good friend has always been difficult. Not getting to say goodbye is even harder and I’ve experienced it way too often.
During my high school years, I made friends with so many people because we all went to the same school and had classes together. After we graduated things changed (just like it always does for everyone) and we went in different directions. Luckily enough, I got to stay friends with a good majority of them up until a few years ago. That’s when things started to change and I stopped getting invited to hang out, stopped getting texts, stopped being contacted altogether and started getting ignored and ditched.
I felt like I had to reach out constantly in order to maintain a basic friendship with so many different people and it was mentally draining. I didn’t know what I did to make my friends not want to be around me anymore. Thus began the start of many silent goodbyes.
Before I continue I want to take a second to explain what a silent goodbye is and why it effects me in such a deep way. I believe that we should all be honest with one another if we are friends and when I say this I mean that I think we should tell one another “goodbye” if we know it’s coming. I understand that a lot of people aren’t “good at goodbyes” or just hate any type of confrontation at all, but I think it’s necessary. I also realize that you can’t really know when to say your goodbye because it’s almost impossible to know the exact moment when a friendship is ending, but I wish we did. I feel like this makes me sad because I don’t want to just fade away and be ignored, I want closure and I want to know that this chapter of my life is coming to a close. I hate knowing when another person doesn’t want to be around me anymore or doesn’t want to talk to me. They constantly reassure me that they’ll hang out with me soon or make plans with me and they don’t. They never do. It’s all talk and if I’m honest it’s really hurtful.
I don’t want an apology. I don’t want anyone’s pity. I just want closure and if they can’t give me that then I don’t know what to say anymore. I’m sick of trying to keep up with all of these people who don’t even give a shit about me. I’m tired of being the one to text them to see how they’re doing just to get ignored or forgotten for the hundredth time. I’m done trying to beg for my “friends” to stay my friends. I know that I shouldn’t have to do that and if they were my real friends it wouldn’t be this way. It’s just sad to see all of our memories fade away along with our friendship. But I guess that’s just how life is sometimes.
Thanks for taking the time to read my story. I hope you liked it.
