Hmm. Curious. I am very clear that I find the most joy and the most success when I let go of the outcome. For me, it’s about the journey, not the destination. In my experience, pre- designing what the destination needs to be limits the possible outcomes.
That said, one of the reasons I love talking about this stuff is because I love to find out where we are the same and where we are different. I get my juice from the process. Sounds like you get your juice from striving for the goal. Good to know!