My Life As a Psychopath
Katie Heaney
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Wow, that makes so much sense! It sounds almost as if we are all on the same spectrum. Many autistics, including those considered high functioning autistics, or Asperger’s Syndrome, have no ability to recognize facial movement to understand someone’s mood. They have difficulty with feelings. According to a friend with Asperger’s, they don’t feel the same depth of feelings as others. They may show Narcissistic behavior. Narcissists are also on the spectrum. Both tend to think only about things in terms of how they affect “me” and no one else. With Bipolar Disorder (me), we can be antisocial, we can be dangerous, but we do have feelings. We experience a roller coaster ride, where sometimes we are out of control. Many of us depend on others to tell us when we are behaving outside of “normal” parameters. With Borderline Personality Disorder, they feel too much. They care about others, but they are almost totally caught up in their roller coaster ride. Their roller coaster ride is nearly non-stop. Each of us has a different brain pattern. It’s interesting how schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder intersect with these other disorders. People with BPD can have strong paranoia and a dissociative occurrence. People with Bipolar Disorder can have hallucinations and believe they are supermen/women. Schizoaffective disorder includes either Bipolar Disorder or Major Depression. When a person with Borderline Personality Disorder experiences a dissociative state, their words can make little sense. It appears as though they have a psychotic break. However, schizophrenia is worse that each of these. It includes delusion and possibly voices. It seems as though everyone’s brain is wired differently, with various parts of identical brains malfunctioning at different levels. There are times when I feel as though my caring for other people is just a mask, even with family. But, that is only with distance. Up close and personal, I do care about other people. I hate humanity, but I still feel pain for those who are mistreated. I don’t feel as much pain for those who are starving, simply because there are too many people on this planet and people should learn not to have more children than they can support, or the world can support. That is callous, of course, but it comes from frustration over the effect of too many people and no one getting to the root of the problem.

Thank you so much for sharing this, Katie, and thank you to the person who was willing to talk about what it is like. It is good to know that psychopathy does not lead to a serial killer. A serial killer may be psychopathic or not. It is not related to psychopathy. In fact, it seems less likely for someone with psychopathy to be a serial killer, because they would be unlikely to get a thrill from the act.

Again, wow! It is so important to hear from people who actually experience a mental disorder, rather than listening to others trying to understand, when they will never be able to truly understand (myself included). I plan to further my education from here.