The Big Chop: Things I learned when I cut off all my hair.
Note: I’m going to swear a lot here because, well, frustrations.
If you’ve known me for while, you know that I’ve always had my hair in drastically different hairstyles and colors. From black, brown, blonde, pink, purple, blue, grey, short, long, I’ve done it all. But I’ve never had a clipper to my head…until now. And it was a weird feeling for the most part. The buzzing tickled my ears and the weight on my head was getting lighter and lighter. When it was all over, I looked exactly like my older brother, and tbh I was internally crying from despair. I quickly got over it though, thought I looked slick af. I came back to a party at my parent’s house and everyone was whispering about me, some even talked shit about me from 3 feet away. I was literally right in front of them. I went upstairs to see my mom with a group of her friends, and all she could say was, “Who cut it for you?” and “Just don’t cut it again.” Later she would express all her anger towards it saying how I look like a crazy person, to which I can only react by laughing my ass off. I love my mom though, don’t get me wrong, but that’s kinda what happens when you’re in a family with a lot of traditional people. Things that are different are automatically deemed as crazy and weird. But why does cutting my hair make me crazy?
It’s been a little over a month since then and I’ve had quite a few experiences I’d like to share. Here are just some of the things I learned, starting out light (although they’re all essential):
Hair spirals are your ENEMIES.
MMK, lemme tell you a lil sumthin sumthin. Cowlicks are a real problem. Every morning I wake up to my hair going in several different directions but the ones that cannot be tamed are in the dreaded hair spirals. They are resilient and annoying. SO BEWARE.
Sideburns are never flat.
The weight of my old hair really put in work to keep these bad boys down. I put so much effort into sticking them to my face.
Hair wax is your friend!
Oh hair wax. I have not used you since my middle school emo/scene days, but we meet again. You tame all my hair problems and I am forever grateful. Speaking of which:
Gatsby spiky edge (the pink one). It smells so good and it doesn’t look oily. The staying power is alright, so 7/10.
Beanies 4 lyfe.
Beanies are a god send, honestly. What’s that one song Selena Gomez would sing about how hats are amazing? because that’s exactly how I feel about beanies. Who gets me? haha
Regardless of all my efforts…
I’m like always 5 times colder now that my neck is always exposed. Brr.
Anddd here comes the heat.
STOP questioning my sexuality!
Why does cutting my hair automatically make me a lesbian and/or confused? My hair does not define my orientation. I used to think this way, but I can honestly say it’s one of those really stupid things that should not be taken lightly or jokingly. We should stop judging people and assuming their lifestyle based on their appearance. So please, educate yourself!
I AM NOT A BOY.
Face palm* Just because my hair is short and I wear t-shirts all the time does not mean I am a boy. Nor do I want to transition into a boy. It’s like we give gender roles so many standards and they can’t be intermixed? Why does it have to be one or the other? People should be able to dress and look however they want to.
“You look prettier with long hair.”
‘SCUSE ME? RUDE. I am fire in any style, next!
You are NOT your hair.
The number one question I get asked is, “what made you want to cut it” or sometimes even, “Did something bad or drastic happen to you?” Thanks for caring, but I should never have to explain myself on why I decided to cut it. Guys change their hairstyle all the time and you don’t see people asking, “Did something happen?” Sometimes there just isn’t a reason. I am not going through anything drastic. I’m still with my boyfriend. I simply one day after a hangover decided that I wanted to cut the tumbleweed off my hair because I was tired of maintaining it. My hair is not me, and it’s not how I express my inner feelings. For some people it might, and that’s okay. But we shouldn’t be promoting the “new hair, new me” thing. Instead we should empower others to just say “new hair, same me.” or like “New hair, but I’m still a boss ass bitch.”
You are not your hair. Just by cutting it, it doesn’t make you automatically a weak, lesbian, boyish, or plain old ugly person. You are still you! So if are thinking about cutting it at all just do it and don’t be afraid of what other people might think, because they couldn’t be any more wrong.