Sometimes what we are stuck in is a relationship with a person who does not know how to love in a healthy way. Sometimes, people will casually insult someone they say they love (they may even believe they love them ) because deep inside they feel unworthy of that person’s love and they feel inferior to them so they attempt to keep that person in the relationship with them by picking at them and their self confidence all to get or keep their self image low. They’ll do that by not giving their partner the true acceptance , positive reinforcement and love that they KNOW they need to be happy because they want them to feel on unsteady ground, they want them to feel unstable and reliant on them. They fear that if a person feels loveable , valuable, liked and strong enough then they will walk away from them eventually (usually because they fully understand that their bad behavior at times warrants you walking away from them). They feel bad about themselves or can often harbor guilty feelings for things they have done , and this can be the pattern they use to keep you weakened (which they may even try to laugh off as ‘just kidding’ and ‘why can’t you take a joke ?’ One way to tell is if it does not feel like love, it probably isn’t. Not saying this is the case in your case, but your poem brought to my mind these kinds of devices some abusive people use and so I felt it might help some people to consider this possibility. Often, in the middle of having your mind messed with, the victim only finally realizes it after someone points it out to them or sometimes it is much later that they see it.
