
“Manifesto” ex-Googler to Start Brotopian Society in Rumored Second Internal Memo
Ex-Googler decides his manifesto, or MANifesto is part of a Brotopian MANifest destiny.
“Call it Brotopia, or just a big area in Menlo Park, either way, I hear it’s gonna be a Brotopian startup for bros to come and go as they please,” says Adam, a current Googler. “Sounds kinda too bro for me. I mean, I guess it could work. But yeah…too much dude, too much.”
Once the Google manifesto was rejected by most employees on campus, its author decided it was time pull out the big manifest guns in a second internal memo calling for ‘Broxit’ — an exit of bros to create their own “Brotopia.” Some are criticizing his double-dipping in the internal memo pool, calling it a cry for attention.
Jeannie, an engineer at Google said, “I don’t get it. Brotopia? That’s just Monday through Friday in high-tech.” Asked if she had any curiosity to visit, she laughed, ‘Nope. I got actual work to do. And are we supposed to be upset that bros want to leave? It’s like the people you hope would leave voluntarily decide to do so. Seems to be a problem that takes care of itself,” she said emphatically. “Why not call it Brofesto? Why is it another manifesto? Yeah. Brofesto sounds like a bad music festival with too much pot. Makes sense. I see it now. But who cares, anyway? Dude you get one memo to get all your ideas out and now you’re double-dipping in the memo pool? Come on. Let some other bros have a chance at getting their questionable ideas out there. What an attention hog. You shot your memo wad. Let it go, bro.”
“Do we get to pick the bros that leave?” inquired Rajeev. “Because, yeah, that could be cool. Might actually be able to get rid of the dead weight. Bro attrition. Brotrittion!” he laughed. “That would a great HR policy. Do we get to vote bros off the island? I am in if that’s the case. But live there? God no. No one would get anything done,” he stated. “Hey, I am all for a a Brotrittion policy…Bropocalyspe! Man…these puns just kinda write themselves. Yeah..this has been a distraction. So if thebros want to leave, I might actually get some work done. I am in favor of it — you know — if I don’t ever have to see some of those people again. Better than peer evaluations. Brotrittion programs. Let’s do it.”
“I think Broxit is smart. I’d go,” said David. “Imagine all the cool stuff we could build. All the brogrammers bro-ing out. Plus, all the weed…Sounds like one giant never-ending weekend or music festival!”
Asked for comment about the internal “Broxit” memo laying out the vision for Brotopia, a Google HR director was pretty abrupt. “Look, brogrammers write a lot of internal memos. We can’t keep up. I wouldn’t give it any attention. We try not to. Most of the ideas are half-baked and just ‘blah blah blah.’ Truth is we don’t even read most of them. That #googlemanifest kind of got away from us. In our defense it was not that compelling so didn’t think much about it.”
“Is that a denial?” I ask. “There’s a bro-memo a minute around here. Brotopia one day, Dictopia the next day (all dic pics all day) Weedtopia…whatever. The ideas are pretty out there. Who can track it all?”
We reached out to a few bros named in the Brotopian plan and got no response. Rumor is there are more bro-memos about to be leaked.
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