Christmas shopping at 2 a.m. — Party City was dark. So was Dr. Zaidi, the orthodontist’s. And Payless. Famous Footwear was closed, but not dark, its aisles of shoes lit up like Gillette Stadium, but with fewer concussions.The only store open at 2 a.m. in this admittedly weird little shopping plaza in Wallingford, Connecticut was Kohl’s…

Stay away from any recipe involving candy canes. — The memories are starting to fade, but I still remember a time before I began crushing candy canes. Dinosaurs roamed the Earth, then a meteor wiped them all out probably — I’m not sure; I was too busy trying to pulverize the hardest substance known to man — then they…

Because Elf on the Shelf is creepy. — Some people think the recent interest in all things Scandinavian began with Stieg Larsson’s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, while others wisely blame IKEA. Both are, alas, wrong. The craze for all things cold and socialist can be traced back to the late ’80s and the beloved Nick Jr…

Let’s take a minute to expose a few very expensive mistakes — Every year, various publications and companies put out so-called gift guides to supposedly help shoppers find the perfect something for family and friends. Inevitably these gift guides include some presents that are just a touch too expensive to ones that would make a hip-hop mogul blush. Now it’s entirely possible…

It’s all about the jars. — If you are a person who enjoys the occasional libation, there’s a point in your adult life at which you start to give and receive alcohol as gifts. I, as it turns out, only hit that milestone this year. For the entirety of my 20s I was in practice a…

Time to test the theory that DIY is “less expensive.” — I’ve always wanted to have certain skills: the skill to maintain and repair my car; the skill to construct furniture, particularly bookcases; the skill to fix my computer when something goes awry. One could easily mistake “self-sufficiency” as the motivation behind my desires. …

When Dr. Vegetable prescribes fried pickles, you buy them. — Every autumn, countless Americans attend county and state fairs to compete in such time-honored traditions as shearing sheep, pulling oxen, exercising swine, and coming up with new recipes featuring Spam or pecans — or both, if you’re truly talented. And yet, if we’re being honest, many of us aren’t pulled…

And what I found there. — Recently I visited a mini mall where I found a bookstore seemingly christened “Bookstore.” Okay, yes, this Ocala mini-mall book shop does appear to have a name besides BOOKSTORE. …

The trail was desolate and full of people. The muscular old man who wore weights on his calves and arms and a sweatband around his sun-browned forehead passed Dana. The woman with the great white hat, bought for a derby not attended due to infidelity, and great black goggles of…