Katie Eileen – Medium

Katie Eileen

she/her

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Long After the Thrill

Why Wouldn’t You Try and Monetise Your Harassment?

Lots of online dating exchanges help create a rock-hard case for OnlyFans.

May 8

Why Wouldn’t You Try and Monetise Your Harassment?

May 8

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Published in

Doctor Funny

Minecraft Movie Just Not That Realistic, Reports Grandma

After somehow making it through the The Minecraft Movie without falling asleep or loudly unwrapping Werther’s Originals, 82-year-old Edna…

May 31

Minecraft Movie Just Not That Realistic, Reports Grandma

May 31

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MuddyUm

I’m Terrified of Falling Signs and Flying Logs, But Still Ignore Red Flags in Dating

I must teach myself how to stay away from these dangerous doodles

Jun 4

I’m Terrified of Falling Signs and Flying Logs, But Still Ignore Red Flags in Dating

Jun 4

Pinned

Legs Wide Shut

This story didn’t happen to a friend of a friend. It happened to me. I was seeing a younger man. We had tipsy unglamorous sex. Like an Adam…

Apr 23

Legs Wide Shut

Apr 23

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An unconventional but worthy celebrity crush

When online dating feels too grim, I take a break for the sake of my mental health and use my imagination instead.

Apr 25

An unconventional but worthy celebrity crush

Apr 25

Published in

Long After the Thrill

AI and I Share a Secret

AI and I are both People Pleasers

1d ago

AI and I Share a Secret

1d ago

Published in

MuddyUm

A List of Instructions for Anybody Planning on Kidnapping my Kids for a Ransom

You’re really going to need to possess a specific set of skills

Jul 6

A List of Instructions for Anybody Planning on Kidnapping my Kids for a Ransom

Jul 6

Published in

Doctor Funny

An Open Letter to Stephen King, R.L. Stine, Dean Koontz, and Christopher Pike:

You prepared me for only the most minor of horrors, none of them even come close to our current timeline full of things like digital…

Jul 6

An Open Letter to Stephen King, R.L. Stine, Dean Koontz, and Christopher Pike:

Jul 6

Published in

Doctor Funny

A Love Letter from 1982

American chick arrives in Australia: wants a man, home and family — pronto.

Jul 2

A Love Letter from 1982

Jul 2

Published in

Doctor Funny

Introverted Woman Identifies With the Louvre in Wishing She Could Choose to Limit Her Visitor Count

A limited number of timed interactions is the way to go

Jun 23

Musée du Louvre by night

Jun 23

Katie Eileen

Katie Eileen

she/her

Neurodivergent Australian writer with an affinity for 80s synth and black eyeliner. Fond of satire, absurdism, creative non-fiction. I'd love to write for you.

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