Living With Loneliness

A video appeared on my YouTube feed early this afternoon that really caught my attention, mostly because it pulled at my heartstrings. The cover image for the video was a picture of a woman — a woman who seemed to fit the visual description of a lonely individual. An individual living with a ‘disease’ that has the same affects as smoking.
She was living with loneliness, a condition that she and the narrator of this video expounded upon in a way that really opened my eyes.
Loneliness is a complicated subject, mostly because we don’t realize we’re experiencing it until it’s too late. Most of the time its effects really aren’t that detramental until we’re really in the deep end of social isolation.
However, this infectious condition affecting people in all countries of the world involves more than just being alone.
Being lonely and being alone are not the same thing.
The issue of being lonely, in a world of connection, stems from three main issues that we must work on.
The first one is this:
We’re not connecting in person.
I love checking FaceBook and Instagram. Why? Because images of and comments from people are popping up, and most of the time, these are people I know. These are people I know I’ll see come Sunday morning at Church or at class on Thursday.
Things go awry when our social media “friends” are our only friends. Social media must not be our social network, but the way we connect with our social network. That’s something I’ve had to learn.
Relationships that consist only over text or FaceTime don’t usually work in the long run. Relationships require, almost always, contact in person, where the screen doesn’t glitch, the emojis don’t fluff up our words, and we’re unable to hug one another.
The second cause for loneliness is just as bad.
We’re not truly connecting.
Just because you meet in person doesn’t mean you’ll have a successful relationship, whether it be platonic, romantic, or familial. Connecting with one another, truly connecting, involves much more than simply standing in a room together.
It’s different for everyone, but a large part of it is about being intentional and purposeful with our gatherings. Defining the purpose, clarifying the goal, and setting the scene are all important steps to adopting great relationships on both sides. It allows both parties, or the multiple parties, to understand each other, grow with one another, and truly enjoy one another’s company and fellowship without feeling inhibited by circumstances, misunderstanding, or lack of trust.
Far too often we allow stuff to get in the way, we let ourselves get in the way, and we don’t get to the point in our relationships. We operate under a grand facade and never truly connect.
However, the first step, and the biggest step, in overcoming loneliness as a culture and as individuals lies in overcoming this final hindrance to connecting with one another.
We’re not connecting at all.
It is sad for me to hear people coming to me and complaining that no one likes them. I’ve complained this to myself at times. I’ve told myself that I have no friends, I never talk to people, I never go do things with friends, and I’m not involved in any activities. While some of my fears might be slightly warranted, the real issue lies in the fact that I’m not taking the first step to reach out and find people.
The first step to overcoming loneliness, and, as I already mentioned, the biggest step — is starting to make the effort to connect.
There are far too many groups, clubs, societies, communities, and families in the world for us not to find one of our own, or start one of our own. There’s no reason for us to be lonely. We weren’t built to be alone, and, just like that woman in the video, we need regular relationships, and we should tailor our lives to run into people, not to constantly have to go out and find them.
Fighting loneliness takes some effort in the beginning. It certainly doesn’t come by staying in your house all day. But once you find your group, your community, a good family of people that you can call your own, you won’t have to live the life of loneliness anymore.
Living with loneliness can be an old life thrown out the window if we’ll only remember to reach out, find people, and create true, real, and lasting relationships with them.
