My Story: Part 10

Reflection

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep

Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear a waterfall
In the night, the stormy night
She’d close her eyes
In the night, the stormy night
Away she’d fly

And dream of para-para-paradise

-Paradise, Coldplay

United States

It was true for me to take my trip, to be away and find myself, and spending extended periods of time in single locations as I did supported that. I was in search of myself, in search of SOMETHING to hold on to, in search of my future. I found a lot of that on my trip. I did some major soul searching: I explored my pain, its roots, how it shows up in my everyday life, what I truly desire, and how to create it. I also allowed myself to stop and just be wherever I was, have fun and live in the moment while exploring parts of the world I’d always dreamed of seeing. I challenged myself and I grew.

Escventure (Escape + Adventure) really was that. I was looking for an escape, and I only partially understood from what I was running away. I was running away from my pain — pain we all have inside of us for different reasons, pain that we may not even understand the cause of, but that runs our lives. Travel allowed me to break free of that pain, and then eventually dive fully into it and explore it. Returning home now is both literal and metaphorical, as I return to my first home and return to my true self.

It’s true that more travel is in my future, maybe not always in the exact same style or at the same rate as Escventure, but my motivation will be different. I’ll still be searching, but this time I’ll be exploring. I won’t be running away from my pain, I’ll be diving deeper into myself. I endeavor to receive with gratitude, share what I have, claim my desires, and continue to live and expand.

When I look at it now, I feel like this last year and a half, which has seen periods of extended travel around the world and time spent back home, has really all been a part of my Escventure. I could divide the time up based on geographic locations, but collectively I now see these last 18 months as a giant learning phase, a time when I transitioned from the old to the new. I’m not done yet; I’ll never be done. If we’re living, we’re always learning and growing, but this feels like a defining moment. I’m now embracing the new and excitedly building the future, looking ahead.

Recently someone asked me if my blog had a theme. When I started this blog this past spring, my primary objective was just to get myself to start writing again, to open myself up…dare I say it…try to be a bit vulnerable. I wanted to start to share more about what’s happened in my life recently, the changes I’ve been undergoing, etc. I figured if I could do that, I’d see how the blog would evolve and maybe it would start to take shape into something.

I have seen a sort of natural evolution of the direction of this blog as I unpack stories of my travels, my spiritual journey, my learnings and my challenges. Recently I’ve been in a time of transition in my life as I start to apply what I’ve learned to creating a new life for myself. My blog has started, and will continue, to reflect that journey. So when I thought about the question of whether my blog has a theme or not, I realized the answer is TRUTH. My goal with this blog was to start sharing more, speaking my truth, telling my story. And a big part of that is about encouraging others to do so as well.

I’ve shared the story of how I got here. Now I’ll be sharing stories about what I continue to learn as I follow my intuition; what it means to create what I want in my life and the struggles I face doing so. And I want to make this a two-way conversation: I want to use this blog to initiate conversation and build community. I will continue to share my stories and commit to speaking my truth, but I also want to expand the discussion and hear from others. I want to encourage others to live and speak their truth and talk about what that is/how to find it and all the “stuff” that comes up as a result. So I invite you to come along and share your own journey with me and others.