I may or may not pretend I am a DJ/hip hop artist while running (the streets of San Francisco and Oakland, by the way). Jay Z, Atmosphere, someone fills the headphones, and suddenly hands flail like I’m the headliner for night two at Coachella. A jogging headliner.

For context: there is nothing hip about my hop. Think more Fran Drescher than MIA when you envision this absurd pastime. Proof: does Coachella even have a headliner?