Don’t Be Afraid to Say Goodbye

“Life is like an elevator. On your way up, sometimes you have to stop and let some people off.” ― Ziad K. Abdelnour

As my husband and I celebrated our 37th wedding anniversary; I flashed back to a couple of years ago when we had our vow renewal ceremony for our 35th anniversary. We invited family and friends to come and share in our continued commitment to one another with a big party.

My kids who don’t live near us made a quick weekend trip knowing how much it meant to us for them to be there.

It was an exciting time to have everyone part of our celebration but the weeks leading up to the event became stressful, and there were several occasions I nearly cancelled the whole thing.

The stress wasn’t in the party planning or details involving the party.

The stress came from someone who wasn’t invited.

Someone who heard about our upcoming party and made sure I understood what an awful person I was for not including them on our list.

It had been at least two years since we last got together as couples and well that meeting ended awkwardly. From that point on the only interaction we had was work related.

Relationships are like shoes; some fit nicely giving support and comfort. While others can be uncomfortable and painful, especially when you try to force them to fit.

I am sure I am not the only person to let go of a relationship and experience the guilt that comes with it. Especially if you are a people pleaser and don’t like to cause pain to anyone.

It took awhile for me to put things in perspective and understand that I was an important part of the equation. But until then I let guilt ruin the days leading up to our party.

I have learned a number of things about self-care the past two years.

I have learned putting myself first is not selfish, but necessary to see my worth.

I have learned there is nothing wrong with letting go of relationships. Sometimes we need to do what is best for us and step back from people who have different values in life.

I have learned that everyone we meet has a role in our lives.

Some will love and accept us; others will malign and hurt us.

Some will inspire us and cause us to grow while others will try to limit us and stunt our growth.

The key is to recognize when to hang on and when to let go.

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KatieMae is a writer and encourager. She lives in Washington state with her husband and their three dachshunds. You can find her on Twitter @Katiemaeonline, or her website http://www.katiemae.online .

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