Love Is A Choice

Recently I was asked what my number one piece of advice is regarding marriage to those trying to make a relationship last a lifetime.

While I am no marriage counselor or expert, I do have 37 years of experience being married. I was 18 and my husband was 19 when we made the choice to spend the rest of our lives together.

And there lies the secret to our successful marriage.

Love is a choice and it takes two people making that choice every day to last a lifetime.

Love isn’t a feeling as much as it’s a deliberate choice. A decision to love one another regardless of what we feel at any given moment.

There are great years, and there are difficult years, but through it all, each morning we wake up and choose to love one another one more day.

Most everyone will experience moments when they wonder what they were thinking, but there will also be moments of ‘how in the world did I get so lucky?’.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe there are reasons for divorce (abuse, addiction, and adultery to name a few), but it is so easy for couples to throw in the towel when things get hard or they don’t feel in love anymore.

That’s when the hard work comes in.

My husband and I went through a rough patch around our 18th-19th year. We only saw what the other was doing wrong, and we focused on that more than we concentrated on everything that was right.

We contemplated divorce.

I mean seriously considered it.

But one morning my husband woke up, looked in the mirror and decided to choose to love me regardless of what he felt at the time.

He chose to see the good in me every day rather than focusing on the negative things that bothered him.

It made all the difference.

Little by little I saw something had changed with him. Noticing the difference, I too softened and changed my attitude.

It wasn’t long before we started to enjoy our marriage again and here we are enjoying our lives together more and more each day.

I pray we have at least 37 more years together.

Now let me ask you.

What is your number one piece of advice regarding marriage to those trying to make a relationship last a lifetime?

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KatieMae is a writer, encourager and believes in the power of kindness. She lives in Washington state with her husband and their three dachshunds. You can find her on Twitter @Katiemaeonline, or her website

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