Did You Know: 9 out of 10 Conversations Miss the Mark?

Did you know that 9 out of 10 conversations miss the mark?
Shocking, right?! And that is one of the reasons I’m so thankful to have recently graduated from my Conversational Intelligence Enhanced training. I now understand why 9 out of 10 conversations miss the mark and what to do about it!
7 months ago I was honored to have been selected as one of the few coaches to receive a scholarship to the lucrative Conversational Intelligence for Coaches program and this past weekend I am pleased to announce that I graduated from their Enhanced Training Program! Unable to fly to NYC to join my colleagues, I attended via Live Stream and it was still an amaze-balls experience!
***Kazoo in the background***applause***
Yes, I am very pleased, proud, and thankful. And in case you don’t know, C-IQ or Conversational Intelligence is the neuroscience of leadership. It brings words and scientific explanations to all those things we feel during power struggles, bureaucratic red tape, passive aggressive behavior, and our visceral rebellion to any and all authority figures (or is that just me?).
I finally have a scientific explanation of why I find it remarkably challenging to “just do what I told you!”
Have you ever been at work and have your boss come to you and says, “go execute this thing immediately and exactly how I’ve told you to do it” and you’re like, “Naw, I don’t like your tone. That idea sucks anyway so I think I’m gonna drag my feet and complain to all my co-workers about how your face offends me.”
Guess what?! That is C-IQ in its natural habitat!
Now, had the two participants been aware of the Conversational Essentials, that conversation could have gone MUCH differently. Instead of the boss using power OVER the team mate, the boss could have used power WITH and likely gotten a much different reaction.
I don’t know about you but I would respond MUCH more favorably to a “boss” (I use quotes because I strongly dislike the idea of leaders being in power OVER others but for the lack of a better word, you get what I’m saying) a boss saying something like the following:
Hey, Katie, as you know, we’re working on this widget campaign and I was thinking, what if we did XYZ? I’m really excited about that idea specifically because I think it would be very successful! What do you think?
The leader pauses and listens to connect with Katie and her response. She says,
Good idea, JaneBob! I’m hesitant about this aspect of your idea because I believe it XYZ. What if we did your idea plus this new modification I’m sharing with you right now? If we could do that, it would be very exciting to me and I could probably support you better and innovate faster if you had my enthusiastic cooperation. Can I have your permission to proceed?
Of course, the message has been dramatized for this post to help you better understand what’s going on and in real life the dialogue might have been more lengthy and complex but the concept is the same.
How might you respond if your leadership, which is a much better word than boss; because really, with rebels like me, there are no other bosses. I’m the boss. And frankly, we’re lucky to be working side by side together because we can then benefit from the great ideas that both of us bring to the table.
How might you respond if your boss viewed you as a human being and treated you like one? If they actually listened and heard what you had to say? If they actually thoughtfully considered the reasons you are hesitant to execute their bad ideas?
C-IQ is MUCH more than just that, but for me, THAT is a very powerful beginning!
Want to know more? Drop me a line to schedule a time to visit so that I can share with you what I’ve learned and how it can help you become a better leader.
For real. Don’t be shy. Besides, I need some practice communicating what C-IQ is in a way that people can understand so you’d be doing me a favor. Email me now to hop on a call to visit for 20 minutes.
