¿Tiene la talla cuarenta y dos?… No. Vale.
Although I have only been in Spain for a short time, I have asked this question too many times to count! For those of you who are not Spanishly (definitely a word) inclined… the title of this blog post translates to, “Do you have size 42 shoes?… No. Okay.” I have always been above average when it comes to my height and therefore my shoes size (11-USA, 42-Europe), but in the States I’ve always been able to find decent shoes in my size. This is not the case in Spain. Tienda after tienda I would ask this question and be answered with a quizzical look paired with a “ No, lo siento.” After multiple rejections, I started to get discouraged because not only did I literally not “fit” into any Spanish shoes, but I began to internalize that disappointment and feel as well as believe that I didn’t and was never going to fit into Spain itself.
Don’t get me wrong, I truly love Sevilla and my experience here so far, but I’m not immune to insecurities, especially an ocean away from home. This experience coupled with the difficulty of some of my classes as well as the different dynamic from my beloved, friendly small town and school to a big, bustling city, started to feed into the insecurity of “not belonging.” At the most unexpected times, this feeling would persist and overshadow the blessings God had given me for each day. Luckily, God blessed me with some of the biggest and best encouragement through the wise words of my amazing mom and Spain/US friends. Just when I was starting to give into my insecurities, God rocked my world with so many great experiences and deep talks that completely changed my gaze from insecurity to confidence in who the Lord has made me.
Some of these experiences included celebrating one of my new friend’s birthday with drinks and a Spanish girl’s night out. It was so much fun to let loose with some of my new friends and feel like a local in a Spanish Discoteca! Spanish people sure do know how to dance!
Another great experience was traveling to the beautiful city of Ronda and Sentinel. Although the clouds never stopped raining, it was one of the most fun days in Spain yet, because of the amazing friends God has blessed me with here! It also helped that both cities were beyond beautiful… in any weather! Definitely an unforgettable day!
The last experience I’ll share on here (I have enough to write a book) is from Día de San Valentin. I spent the entire day walking around the city with some of my great friends having deep talks about life, enjoying some delicioso helado, and experiencing the beautiful trademark of Andalucía: Flamenco. These three experiences have one thing in common, not all of them went as planned, but the people made the experience and God has blessed me with some pretty great people to spend 4 months with!
The Lord has been and continues to be nothing but faithful and has equipped me with everything I need in order to overcome whatever comes in my path, including insecurities. My heart is content and my eyes are open to the next great experience God has laid in my path: a weekend trip to Portugal! I cannot wait to experience a whole new culture in a new country! I’ll make sure to fill you all in on everything Portugal!
I know this post was pretty deep so thank you for reading it:)
Hasta la próxima,