Learning to Love Your Story
I’ve known that I wanted to be a public speaker since about 10 years after I cried and sat on my teacher’s lap at my Kindergarten Christmas recital. It apparently took a while to recognize my diva within. It started in high school after attending several local and national student council events where they’d bring in people from all over to speak to us aspiring leaders. I vividly remember how I felt listening to them. There were speakers that would prompt the entire auditorium get up and dance, laugh, cry, think, engage, question, etc. I remember a gentleman who did a call and response bit and the whole crowd was loving every second of it. I knew I could do this! I was born to entertain! I was inspired!
It’s amazing how quickly self doubt crept in. There were probably many reasons for that, but the one I want to talk about is the key to this article. I told myself I didn’t have a story to tell that people would care about. I had witnessed many speakers over the years with fascinating stories where they overcame traumatic events such as beating cancer or experiencing an accident that left them with a permanent disability. Sure, there were speakers with less painful pasts, but even they had years of life that gave them credibility. They’d say things like, “then I left investment banking after 30 years, and pursued my passion of making sculptures with my feet.” Well…not exactly that, but something that demonstrated their wise and seasoned journey. So after hearing these people, I just assumed I had nothing of value to offer others because my story wasn’t big enough. Please don’t get me wrong- I am extremely grateful for my experiences, and in no way am I wishing I had a big tragedy to tell the world about. I’m only saying, I easily discredited my unique story, thinking that no one wanted to hear it. Bottom line: Everyone has a story, no matter how big or small. And there is someone in the world that wants to hear and relate to your story.
Give yourself credit for the challenges you’ve faced. Don’t compare those struggles to others. Own the way you feel and own your experiences. There will be people that have experienced much better and much worse than you. But you can only speak to your own. Everyone has “street cred” in something. My mom has been a Barber for 30 years. When preparing for a presentation at a Barber school graduation, she hadn’t planned on sharing her story, saying “I just didn’t think they’d want to hear about me.” I quickly disagreed, reminding her that she had an opportunity to share with brand new Barbers a world that they didn’t know yet and could look forward to. A world where they could build a business so successful that they could support a family on their own; a business so rewarding, that they would have relationships built across every industry; and a business so flexible that they’d never have to miss their kids’ sporting events. Most people reading this can’t say that they have done that, but my mom can. But everyone reading this is an expert in something. And everyone has a story that SOMEONE can relate to! It’s easy to feel lonely- like you are the only one who has ever gone through what you are going through. But you’re not the only one, and furthermore, you have the opportunity to remind others of that if you share your story. You never know who is listening and who can potentially benefit from the fact that you were brave enough to tell your story. Don’t let your doubts get in the way. For whatever reason, it’s easy to diminish the experiences you’ve had. Don’t. This is YOUR journey, and it doesn’t have to be popular, common, or earth shattering. It’s important because it’s yours.
So here’s some homework. Think about what makes you YOU! Think about experiences that you’ve learned from, that have made you stronger, smarter, or that make you giddy when you think about them. Even if you think they are stupid (that’s the fear talking), write them down. Challenge yourself to tell a friend something new about you or attend a meet-up of people that have similar pasts or want similar futures as you. Start to become comfortable with the fact that you, in fact, have a story. Be proud of all of your unique experiences that have led you to this point. We all have a story worth telling.
So dust it off, love it, and share it!
