From Crushed to Crushing It! Who is Katie McMurray

I‘ve received a lot of positive feedback about my new blog “From Crushed to Crushing It!” I’m thrilled! Although I have been an online presence for 20 years, many of you are meeting me for the first time via this blog. And so, I’ve decided to include my origin story. You will learn who I am, how I got started, and why I do what I do.

My Back Story

I was born in the great state of Illinois and yes I do love Chi-town. I am the 5th of 6 kids, 3 brothers, and two sisters. My youngest sister and I were born one year and 11 months apart. Due to the age gap between us and our older siblings we lived in a world of our making packed with eager exploration and adventure.

Pivotal Moment

When she was a high school senior I was away at college. It was a cold February night. I was at the library studying biology, anatomy, physiology, chemistry, and labs. It was late so I bundled up and made the frigid journey back to my dorm. The ice on the sidewalks crunched beneath my feet, my breath floated like a cloud on the cold night air, the chill heightened my senses, I was alert. When I reached my dorm I was greeted by a warm blast of heat and an RA at the front desk who had a message for me. I took the pink slip, thanked her, and went to my room, I was exhausted and ready for sleep.

I dropped my bags, flopped onto my bed, and read the message, “Call home.” I called, my oldest brother’s girlfriend answered. She told me there had been an accident and I needed to come home. I asked why. She blurted, Alice was in a car accident and didn’t make it. She was riding home with friends after a ball game, they were ¼ of a mile away from our house when it happened, a head-on collision. She and one of her friends did not survive.

I instantly went numb. I was in shock, frozen in time. The stored memory files in my head sent my mind and body through the motions. The funeral came and went, I don’t remember much from the time I first learned of my little sister’s death or the weeks and months that followed. Back at school, I had grief counseling, rarely left my dorm, skipped classes and when grades rolled around I had incompletes in all my courses.

I dropped out of college. I was no longer interested in a medical career. Funny how one can lose sight of their life’s calling in the blink of an eye. I unknowingly gave up as if I were never intended to do the thing I had loved for so long.

In short, I had no desire to enjoy the one thing my little sister lost, life.

My External Desire or What I Told the World

I needed a break and the time to heal from the loss of my sister. I moved to Indiana to live with my free-spirited cousin. She too had a younger sister. We were the fabulous four who enjoyed wonderful summers together during our childhood. We spent half the season at their house and the other at ours. It was good to be back with a special childhood friend, who like me mourned the loss of our fourth and youngest member.

Internal Desires or What I Truly Wanted

I couldn’t bear the vacant stare on the drained face of my broken-hearted mother. It seemed I had also lost her too. I needed to be left alone, live under the radar. I wore nothing but black. Vibrant colors were too happy and I could not relate. People assumed I was apart of the new goth movement. It delivered exactly what I wanted, to be unapproachable, left alone and so I had a new identity. An identity that would allow me the time to process life without Alice and most importantly be the loner I had become.

An angel set on the shoulder of my soul whispering in my ear, “you are meant for more.”

Although I tried, I could not shake the voice in my head. I came to believe the angel was my sister Alice.

The Wall

Nothing worked, I was lost in the depths of depression or so I was told. I tried counseling and therapy to help navigate the stages of grief and yet I was not progressing the way others explained I should. To me, it felt as though I were being pushed to move on. Or more to the point so those guiding me could move on and feel better about having saved another lost soul. I pushed back, it wasn’t working, was I to lie, pretend, and be forever in their debt for having pulled me from the clutches of darkness. No! Not ME!

As you can imagine I grew tired of the weekly cookie-cutter therapy sessions that were of little to no help. The cost was outrageous and the process an empty and underwhelming waste of my time with a robotic stranger. After conventional wisdom failed me I realized I was failing myself as well. Hiding was not who I was. I had always been a blatantly honest person. The time with my cousin was great and yet it was not the answer.

My Epiphany

The angel sitting on the shoulder of my soul whispered, “Life is a gift and it’s perishable.”

No, I wasn’t crazy, nor was I a poet, no it had to be my sister sending me messages and I had every intention of listening.

I wasn’t the problem, the tools and methods I had been provided were failing. It was during this time I fell in with a group of rock climbing and repelling misfits. We spent the weekends exploring our next big climb only taking on challenges that promised an exhilarating repel from the highest cliff.

The physically challenging climb to the top was a breathtaking exploration of majestic mother earth. The journey down was a cleansing purge of every thought or problem residing in my head. I knew I was on to something. Healing does not occur in the same manner for everyone, nor does it look the same. As unique and individual as we are, what we need to heal and thrive is just as different. I began the journey to uncover every means possible to heal and live my true purpose. What I learned is this, I could help others as well.

My Plan

I vowed to live life to the fullest, not only for myself but for my little sister as well. I would help others overcome the barriers holding them back from the life they were meant to enjoy. While on this quest I compiled journals packed with tools I used for myself and others that gravitated toward me. The entire thing snowballed. I realized so many wonderful unconventional ways for me and others to live the life of our dreams.

I was able to build an entire framework of varying tools for varying people to realize their best life and keep it. This process builds a solid foundation that when practiced rids you of the false beliefs holding you back from your true potential. The tools empower you to find and stay on your unique path and finally the framework to maintain everything that makes you the happiest and most authentic.

The Conflict

But there was one little problem, how would I connect with those who needed my help? I am an introvert and shy. I had helped a lot of people, I knew I was onto something, and yet how was I to reach others who could benefit from me and my toolbox?

My Achievement

People just kept gravitating toward me. Strangers purged truths about themselves they had yet to realize until telling me. For whatever reason, I had both the intense desire and personality conducive to helping others. I heard them out, shifted through my tools until finding those specific to the foundation suited to their needs and desires. The process empowered them to walk away with everything they needed to pursue, conquer, and maintain their dreams.

The answer to how was in front of me all along, I had been an online content provider and freelance writer for 20 years. I began using the power and speed of the internet to reach people all across the globe. Nothing gets me more excited than helping others, it is when I feel most alive. I know it is people like you, those who are open and honest with themselves, who will change the world. It is sad but living one’s truth is somewhat of an oddity. It is my life’s mission to bring clarity and support to people like you so you can live the life you were intended and be the example others need to realize they can as well. Together we are the movement that will change the world for the better.