Facing the Fear!

Throughout childhood, the dreaded teenage years and student life writing was always something I did. Notebooks were filled with ideas, first drafts and random thoughts but I never pursued my dream to be a writer. Fear of failing and being told it was rubbish got in the way. Then it was adult responsibilities that caused me to pack my notebooks away with the promise of one day, when I had time, I would write again properly and try to fulfil my dream of seeing my name on the cover of the book.

Fast forward a few years, illness gave me time but still I didn’t write. Many excuses were made such as the difficulty of using a pen, the inability of speech recognition programs to understand my voice and the way technology does not allow the words to flow like they do when letters are formed on paper. Stories and characters have never stopped playing in my mind but I would refuse to release them. Illness can be boring so other hobbies were attempted with limited success but none of them satisfied my creative side. None of them made me happy. Each time I tossed another failed creation to one side, characters would yell loud demanding to be listened too but the fear crippled me.

I have dabbled with blogging about books and chronic illness to raise awareness of rare disease but my fiction writing remains untouched. Sharing my stories is far more personal than blogging but inspired by others who haven’t let illness, disability or life get in their way of their dreams I am eager to overcome this fear. Even if no one reads my efforts or they are met with laughter and criticisms, I will have allowed characters have their say and their stories will be released and I can say I tried.

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