We Still Need You: How to Be an Active Ally If You’re Straight, White, and Male

Thousands of people have read the article I published a few days ago, and hundreds have responded — sharing, commenting, messaging, texting, and offering support to me and others.

Many women expressed gratitude that I helped them articulate their own reactions and recent experiences, and I’m thrilled by how many men have stepped forward as allies. Still, the majority of straight, white men in my life have not listened, understood, or stepped up.

I am still furious. I am still disappointed.

If you’re not sure how to be an ally, start by listening. If you’re not sure how to respond to what you hear, I encourage you to try any of the below — a small sample of real responses I have received from straight, white men. These responses show that the individuals have truly listened. They demonstrate empathy, thoughtful engagement, and/or a willingness to participate in the conversation:

Very well written Katie, is it ok if I share it? (YES.)

We’re not going to abide by all the standards Trump has tried to make normal. We’re going to continue to be kind people, and fight back with love rather than violence.

We can’t let a reactionary movement based on fear and hate roll back the advances made in equal rights for all, threaten human rights, or block the further work to be done.

I will stand up for you Katie. And for the millions of other people who will have their bodies and rights trampled because of Trump.

Furious is the word I’ve been looking for all week.

If every American read this on the 7th, the world would have had a better future.

This article reflects my own feelings of frustration and hurt, and if this election has demonstrated anything, it’s that everyone wants and needs to be heard.

I am outraged, and in disbelief that it was possible to elect someone like Trump. I believe more in humanity than I believe in the ballot system.

It is incredibly heartbreaking and infuriating that this is something that you are experiencing.

We need more women in government and important private sector positions.

I’m with you.