Questions I have been asking myself during this World Cup

Is the unifying power of football really down to everyone sharing a hatred of football commentators?

When will broadcasters finally decide to switch off the mic on the camera filming players signing their national anthems? When?!

What is more intellectually insulting than footballers analysing a football match?

Do referees suffer from PTSD?

Can we sign up the entire Iranian team for the next season of Game of Thrones?

Are the Uruguayans employing their nipples strategically?

Is Andrea Pirlo married?

What percentage of the flags sold globally during this World Cup is made in China?

Is China making more money off this World Cup than Brazil?

Is Sepp Blatter bigger than China?

Do teams have team hair stylists?

If Fellaini and Beckerman collide, will there be a hole in the spacetime continuum?

When has the Dutch goalie last slept?

Why do German players do a choreographed dance when they’re about to do a free kick, but not when they’ve scored a goal?

Will Jogi Löw ever smile again?

Is Lukas Podolski officially Germany’s community manager now?

Should it be that when it’s against Brazil, it’s only half a goal?

Do we really have to look at more crying children?

If it arguably makes no difference to my life, why does it hurt so much?

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW?