That Time I Unplugged
I didn’t think I’d be into camping. I still don’t know if I am to be honest. But there’s something to be said for being open enough to understand and appreciate the guiding ethos of an event and spend less time fretting about the execution.
That’s what I decided to do when a group of kind and generous sponsors chose to fund my spot “in the field”. That field was a camp site in rural Dorset where a group of respected and driven communications and public relations professionals gather once a year to “unplug”. CommsUnplugged is the brainchild of three of the kindest communications professionals I’ve had the pleasure of calling colleagues in the 18 months since I relocated back to the UK. It centers mental well-being, mindfulness and digital detox, right alongside continuing professional development (the event, now in its third year, can be counted towards Continuing Professional Development points with the Chartered Institute of Public Relations) Part of me still feels like I took a spot from someone more deserving of the time and space to “unplug”. Then I remember the dreaded imposter syndrome is exactly one of the mental tricks we often play on ourselves that the event is designed to unseat.
And so it was, after a hastily put together whatsapp group chat and perhaps one too many stops at Asda for supplies we couldn’t possibly get through in three days, that I arrived at the Burnbake Forest Lodges and camp site with my new road trip buddies Ian and John-Paul.
A sea of coloured tents billowed lightly under a crisp, blue, autumn sky. Three larger white tents ringed the bottom of the field and would serve as our workshop and main conference rooms. There was not a cell tower or skyscraper as far as the eye could see. All was still. There was not beep, ping or swish from any of the mobile devices still secreted in coat and jacket pockets. But if you listened closely you could hear birdsong in the adjoining forest and the wind played tricks on our ears as it skipped and shimmered through the trees. Cognizant of the rare and beautiful opportunity I’d been afforded in a world often devoid of basic human kindness, I quickly abandoned my tentmates and tried to slip quietly into the ongoing afternoon session. Besides, what do I know about erecting a tent? My greatest contribution was the three bottles of Mount Gay Rum of different ages I’d brought to sip around the fire.
Co-Founder Darren Caveney greeted me with the usual sparkle in his eye, a broad and inviting smile and that thickly accented Brummie greeting “Alright Kat!” There were hugs and smiles and high pitched “Hiiis” in the break between sessions. The collective deep breath among people sharing common and unique challenges was at that moment on the inhale. There was registration to get through and the detail lovingly paid to every freebie, every mug and every branded notebook was a welcome enough in and of itself. These are people who feel passionately about what they are evangelising about and it shows.
Meanwhile back at camp, two rather impressive nylon domes had emerged at the edge of the site. My tentmate Eleri, a powerhouse of a Welsh woman who has camping down to a science, had set up my ‘room’ in a tent that could sleep six. Next door John-Paul and Ian had their very own man cave, and a circle of folding chairs around a cooler-full of cider and chaser created a rather impressive patio/lounge area. There is a hierarchy of camping I’ve learned and the field displayed the full gamut. There were single sleepers and sleeping bags at one end and at the other, entire camper vans with purpose built sleeping quarters. Thanks to the Welsh contingent, one even doubled as a bar! Eleri pulled out all the stops with two blow up beds, a duvet, a gas cooker and a French press. It’s safe to say I was camping in style.
No time to relish in my good fortune though, it was time to join the workshops I had signed up for. Facilitator for Fresh Air Fridays Saranne Postans got right into the uncomfortable topic of procrastination and time management. (Oh I felt so seen!) She broke down for us the different tried and tested ways we could examine what should really be on our To Do lists. For the first time I was forced to face the (not as kinky) ‘fifty shades of grey’ in the concepts of Urgent vs Important. Top tip: They are mutually exclusive. Another simple and prophetic lesson: learning the most effective way to say no.
It was at this round table session that I met the absolute firecracker Rosaleen. Covered in joyful freckles and a head of hair kissed by fire, this Scottish lass was an unplugged newbie like me and was fresh into a new comms position. And boy did she have a few things to get off her chest. “Watch this one” I thought to myself. “She’s gonna put the world to rights, one comms strategy at a time.” Our straight shooting manner and refusal to be silenced made us great workshop buddies. I hope to visit her patch someday.
The following day I assembled with other campers to listen to Mark Funnel (from DEFRA & the Environment Agency) discuss personal resilience at a time of crisis. He suggested always having a release valve; whether it was humour with friends or ways to be optimistic. “Zoom out and take a look at the bigger picture”, he suggested. “And most of all breathe”. But my take home point was really the idea that instead of attempting to reduce the load in situations one can rarely control, we should try to increase capacity to cope with what you can control.
There were stacks of scrumptuous cakes (the apple one made me make some rather obscene noises!), hot coffee first thing every morning and the most scrumptious dinners of curries and thin crust stone baked pizza. And what countryside retreat is complete without our fur friends? There were at least a dozen of them. I was in waggly tail heaven. Charlotte brought Beau and he became my boo! Fran let me snuggle Chimba and I hated to see them leave. Yup the stage was set for a pretty epic weekend.
I could give you a comprehensive run down of every session (both the ones I attended and the ones I did not) to explain that this retreat involves everything from laughing yoga to bird watching to crisis communications and personal resilience. But others have and will do that in other places. You can find them all here @CommsUnplugged
What struck me most about CommsUnplugged was all the off schedule things I felt free and motivated to do. The things that didn’t go according to plan. Like walking in the opposite direction from the dedicated Saturday morning walking group and instead go exploring the woods that reminded me ever so slightly of Fanghorn Forest (from Lord of the Rings ). It was knowing that despite the chill I would hobble out of my deluxe tent to watch the pinks and oranges and reds of sunrise seep, then crawl, then finally dance their way across the eastern sky. It was ending up in deep conversation with a no nonsense blonde with piercing blue grey eyes named Donna.
She’d been my “workshop buddy” at a previous conference. She seemed to have weighty things on her mind then. She was quiet but kind. Friendly enough but distant. So imagine my shock when amidst the merriment and revelry of an evening of music and Mount Gay rum she sidled up next to me to see what my life in comms had been like since last we met. She called me brave and threw her head back as she laughed. We’re due to have coffee before year end. These are the bonds that are formed in the field.
Another thing that struck me was how willing people were to be vulnerable. Not like some of the sessions left us with much of a choice. Take the keynote address by Johnny Benjamin. It is a story of loss, despair and triumph that I had not heard before. In a manner utterly devoid of self-pity, he chronicled his tale from childhood to that fateful day when a stranger’s kindness stopped him from taking his own life. He spoke of the fact that he is not ‘fixed’ and likely never will be. But in sharing his story he hoped to motivate others to share, seek help, stick to treatment and destigmatize mental ill health. We all pledged to donate to his charity. Given my ongoing dance with the demons in my head, at times I found the session quite triggering. The difference here was that I knew I was in a safe space. I sat with the feeling for a while, unpacked it and breathed through it. Normally I’d be off like a shot. Even my camping buddies left the session with a slight shift in the usual jollity.
The conversation in our little “lounge area” confirmed that they, too, felt safe and empowered enough to push their emotional boundaries. The hugs, tears and laughter flowed as freely as the rum I unashamedly plied everyone with. Fellow freelancer Vicki even kept a drop in her tent long after our fireside chat had ended (for medicinal purposes of course) *wink*. That fire became such a homing beacon as night fell… friend or stranger all seemed to find themselves there, while it crackled and popped its way into the night. Fires are living things and this fire pulled us all together like a hug made of warmth, smoke, flames… and eventually embers.
The walk to the showers was long but the timed spurts of hot water were so totally worth it. I got both the chills and a sunburn all in a 12 hour period and sometimes, just sometimes I breached the unplugged rule and checked an email here and there…I might have gotten too deep in a whatsapp chat that could totally have waited until I got back home. But all in all, as we deflated the tents, emptied coolers and said our goodbyes I knew I wouldn’t be the same.
Will I ever enjoy camping? Even the deluxe version my camping buddies treated me to? Unlikely.
Did I sometimes feel out of my depth and not sure how to just let serendipity take its course? Absolutely. I challenge you to find an unplugger who DIDN’T feel that way at some point.
But the whole point of mindfulness, being present and tapping into the feelings that the “always on” culture supresses, is to recognize that nothing’s perfect … and to be ok with that.
You may not have access to CommsUnplugged the way we do (comms professionals are a pretty special bunch) …but I challenge you to find ways to unplug… structured or unstructured. No one need know what your rituals are. But you will and if you stick to them the evidence will be clear for all to see.
Next Stop CommsUnplugged Barbados Edition! Who’s with me?
*CommsUnplugged also raises money for local charities; enlists the services of local tradespeople and small businesses; and attempts to reduce the use of single use plastics. For taster sessions in your patch if you are a comms professional or just to chat about how you can better unplug using some of the methods above, please get in touch.
