First, I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family find peace soon. There’s a difference between someone being wrong and someone being bad. I don’t think your brother was bad. We all make mistakes. We are all wrong and doing life wrong in one way or another. We have to forgive ourselves as well as others. Please tell your mom to forgive herself. She did not raise bad kids. And neither are you.
You treated someone the way you wanted to be treated when you responded to that last mom. You followed the golden rule regardless. We should all do that on a regular basis!
I’m shocked to hear how some have treated Sandy Hook parents. I know people can be cruel and idiotically so, but wow.
We are lacking in emotional intelligence. Its not taught in schools. I think the bible can be a resource to teach this if used properly (I know you know what I mean), but its also our own interactions. If one person is rude, then we puff up in defense and it just fuels the incident. And our kids learn that behavior. Thus the golden rule.
I’m not a perfect parent either, but my desire and effort to improve and adapt is there. So theoretically, my kids should develop the same life skill, to improve oneself and adapt to changes. Right? :)