Ten Types of Commenters You Get on Your Facebook Page

1. Debbie Downer — everything is always wrong. Or sad. Or depressing. Even better if comments can be turned into a reason to feel sorry for them. What they actually need is a therapist and some antidepressants, but commenting on your page will have to do.

2. The Society Commenter — they are always worried about “society.” What is happening to it? When did it happen? WHEN DID WE BECOME THIS KIND OF SOCIETY?

3. The Conspiracy Theorist — Everything that happens is the result of a sinister conspiracy: vaccine makers, Monsanto, or the federal government are all conspiring against us.

4. The Cheerleader — Your favorite commenter. They even “like” your boring ad content. You would kiss them if you met them in real life.

5. The Page Questioner — They always want to know why xxx content is appearing on your page. Shouldn’t your page be about xxx. Person believes they are the arbiter of what should and should not appear on your page.

6. Why is This News Commenter — Similar to the page questioner, they always want to know why something is news. Why was this reported? They seem to believe that you personally control the publications of the world. They come out of the woodwork if a Kardashian is mentioned.

7. The Looney — You legitimately have no idea what their comment is about. Is it racist? Is it offensive? Is it even in English? You honestly don’t know and you’re not sure if you should delete it.

8. The Troll — Duh. Every page has them now and again. Easy to spot because they appear on your page just to stir things up. Page about kids? Kids are stinky and should eliminated! Page about food? Your food is super-gross and giving people cancer. No seems to know why these people exist, but there they are.

9. The Clap Back Artist — Another admin favorite. They say all the things you wish you could, but can’t. They defend the defenseless. They call people out on their biases. They make you laugh and cheer from behind your computer. Sometimes you screen shot their best stuff.

10. You — Every once and a while you have to toggle over and be yourself on your page — you just can’t keep quiet any longer! But you realize it’s important for your thoughts and your brand’s thoughts to be separate.

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