Barbie: The Unsung Hero Behind The Mars Landing
How Barbie Saved the Day (and Ken) in the Most Unlikely Place
By: TickleMeTick, Oct 6th, 2023, 5:38 AM
WICHITA FALLS, TX — You may have heard of Ken’s daring voyage to Mars, battling politicians, dodging indictments, and giving Elon Musk a run for his money. But what you probably haven’t heard is the tale of Barbie, Ken’s loyal and resourceful girlfriend. Our sources reveal that she’s been hiding out in a senior assisted care home called Royal Estates, making more mashed potatoes than headlines.
Flashback: The Drama That Unfolded
Ken was on his way to Mars, steering clear of the trappings of what we lovingly call “Old Space Company” — a firm that had more politicians in its pocket than space rocks in its lab. Facing a plethora of absurd charges, from “conspiracy to leave the atmosphere” to running a “puppy mill” of three neutered and COVID-vaccinated dachshunds, Ken blasted off into space to live the Libertarian dream: a life free of red tape and full of red planets.
His only lifeline? An AI computer named HAL, and Barbie, who took calls at the most unexpected places, like a forever-crowded Starbucks drive-thru.
SOURCE:
- https://sites.google.com/view/ken-and-barbie/home
- https://sites.google.com/view/ken-and-barbie/characters
- https://sites.google.com/view/ken-and-barbie/plot
- https://sites.google.com/view/ken-and-barbie/universe
The Unsung Hero in Pink
Barbie, who has been hiding out in Royal Estates, found herself in a charming milieu of ladies who thought iPads were cutting boards and couldn’t distinguish Barbie the Doll from a barbie grill. Barbie instantly fit in, teaching the seniors everything from contouring to ceramics, from the fox-trot to first aid. But most crucially, she was the brains behind Ken’s Mars landing, calculating vectors and velocities on a cell phone while simultaneously comforting a dying resident in her final moments.
The Unforgettable Call
Ken, in a rather astronaut-ish manner, called Barbie for help. “Let’s hope they don’t seize HAL. I really suck at Math,” he said.
HAL chimed in, “But you suck at Math. I don’t know how you graduated school.”
The mystery was solved with a flashback to school, where Barbie was seen tutoring Ken. Ah, the roots of their partnership!
The Showdown and Resolution
Our story reaches its climax when the New Space Company engineers are arrested for “obstruction” and the AI is seized by “government” AI engineers too inept to set it up. Barbie, ever the multitasking heroine, manages to do the math calculations herself, all while being emotionally supportive to Ken and the residents of Royal Estates. The government buckled under public pressure when Ken’s Mars landing video went viral, and Barbie was hailed as a hero, receiving her car back from the FBI and a medal from the Mayor in a parade that Wichita Falls will remember for decades.
The District Attorney, in a last desperate attempt to seize all of Ken’s property, was seen packing up his accusatory papers and his dignity. The employees at Old Space Company followed suit, dejected and defeated.
Ken may have landed on Mars, but it was Barbie who truly soared, proving that you can find heroes in the most unexpected places, even in a senior home in Wichita Falls.
Epilogue
The moral of the story? Never underestimate the woman behind the man, the genius behind the astronaut, and most importantly, the Barbie behind the Ken.
“Space might be the final frontier, but love, loyalty, and a sharp mind conquer all,” said Barbie as she was swarmed by fans, “even if you’re doing it while teaching seniors how to salsa dance and conceal their wrinkles.”
For updates on this breaking story, tune in to your local news or simply ask your neighborhood senior — they’ve become quite the gossip-mongers, thanks to Barbie.