Forgive me Father for I have Sinned

I am not a pious person by any definition. That came out wrong. Almost as if I wanted to join these satanic, immoral and constitutionally disallowed atheists *puts on a clerical collar*
 Allow me to edit that statement; I am a Christian. A born, raised, baptized and confirmed Roman Catholic but I am not a Christian.

See, I live among a community of men who have undergone a nine month intense training so as to keep convicted cons away from you good people. The government pays them what little they can spare from your taxes when they are not ordering eight thousand shilling pens. So as expected they are a rather disciplined lot that is rewarded with poor working conditions and peanuts compared to the amount of work they do. Plus they deserve a lot more than your despicable mentality that prison warden jobs are a preserve of those who could not cheat successfully in their KCSE.
 According to the first commandment of the church it is required of me to attend Mass on Sundays and Holy days of obligation. I have managed to keep this commandment with little resistance given how the Lord has been merciful to grant me impeccable health. Last Sunday there was a Catholic Men Association commissioning event. I know it sounds like a huge event but it wasn’t .The women woke up at five in the morning to meticulously prepare Kenyan sherehe cuisine; Pilau, white rice, chicken for the high table, chapattis and meat stew with entire potatoes. The men ditched their uniforms and boots for new tuxes and office wear shoes. The liturgical dancers were pinched a little bit more than usual so as to perfect their dance moves. The youth primed their bellies to take in extra helpings of food.
 Like all Catholic masses, the service was beautiful. The dancers were swans on the aisle, the men even took a break from their stiffness to break into a jig and the women ululated and clapped with African pride and joy. In between these ordered chaos camera and phones clicked away as memories were recorded. After mass the congregants sat down to eat.
 Out of nowhere a young girl, not older than thirteen joined the festivities. She was in dirty clothes, muddy shoes and had a wild look in her eyes. She tried to grab food from the sufurias and was quickly shooed away only to come back and start beating up kids.
 How dare she disrupt this high society event? The good Christians had had it. There was no way this clearly mentally disturbed girl could eat the same food let alone mingle with them. She just had to leave, by force and I would be the chosen executioner of this command. I want to say that I complied due to my firm belief in Ephesians 6 : 1–2 but no. I secretly wanted her gone. In a party of three we escorted her to the manned gate and after making sure the miscreant was gone we walked back to rejoin in the festivities. Then it hit me.
 Guilt. Creeping malfeasance. Forget the two minute guilt you usually feel after cheating on your significant other. This was a strange form of guilt. Here we were in a church event. I had escorted a child out for not wearing Yeezy season four and not been in total command of her mental faculties .These were factors beyond her control. I had lost an opportunity to practice my Christian values. I should have subdued her kindly and separated her from the rest of the public. I should have fetched a plate of food as it was crisp she was hungry. There was so much that I could have done. The hunger dissipated easily and guilt and remorse quickly took its place. My conscience tried and convicted me of this offense. I slowly walked home.

The guilt is still with me and has shown no prospects of leaving any time soon. In six or so weeks, the burden of my sins will give me sleepless nights. On a hot Saturday afternoon, I will walk to the parish church and kneel. I will undertake the rigorous exercise of examination of conscience. At Five PM the priest will walk in and take his place. After reining my fear, I will take my set place and kneel down. I will make the sign of the cross then he will say;

“May God who has enlightened every heart, help you to know your sins and trust in his mercy”
 “Amen”
 After a taking a deep breath I will then begin;

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned….