Stillness

(Part 2)

New Place

Rainy and misty weather view from my windows. (photo taken by: Kay Brahm — iPhone6)

I arrived. I took the keys that have been placed in the shoes box just next to the small pot in front of the door. I sighed. How people could be so simple and not considered about the safetiness in this madness world. I’m new at here. But I couldn’t meet my landlord properly. He said that he got a fever. I could understand. But I think it is still wisely if he asked me to go to his place to take my keys and meet him properly. I hesitated to open my door. I paused for a while. Why I felt so bothered about my landlord for being not came to meet me? What is the proper etiquette anyway? Hey, he’s sick. So it means he couldn’t move. Thanks God that he still could pick my call. He done this because it would be practical for me. He considered about my jetlag. 8 hours flight plus 5 more hours for transit etc. So, he must really kind person. Safetiness? Look at the door. It has the passcode which was already texted by him to my messenger. And the keys, it is for the keys inside the room. It will be for the desks, cupboard, etc. So what else? I think I’m totally exhausted. Or maybe I’m totally being so inferior so I thought many people not really appreciate me enough? Come on, Girl! Don’t be a spoiled brat person. Don’t make your day just because something that ever been happened. It is not your fault. It is not your mistake. It’s only the process. The process that you should face for being a mature person. So be wise with the way of the thinking. Anyway, the landlord looked totally like almost passed out based on his voice by voice messenger. So be kind.

I sighed again. Then I smiled lightly. I opened the door.

photo taken by: Kay Brahm — iPhone6

I put my bags and luggage at the corner of the room. I like the place. It’s a studio. I lived at the 7th floors. A lucky number, I guess. I had a kitchen that separated with the sliding glass door. I walked into the kitchen and slided the see-through door slowly. I entered the kitchen. It has a bar concept table and high chairs that directly attached nearby windows. I mesmerized with the view outside the windows. It’s raining. I smiled. I sat at the bar-chair that made me can enjoy the view.

It’s Gwangan bridge on the Gwangan beach. I could see it directly from my room. The rain made the view more romantic. I opened one of the windows. I could feel the cool breeze of the spring. It’s so refreshing. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment for a while. How I’m so blessed. I opened my eyes and saw many people were strolling around.

Gwangan Bridge, Busan

Sea You! (photo taken by: Kay Brahm — Sony RX100 M2).

South Korea is one of the countries which has a colder temperature rather than its neighbors such as Japan. I love both of them. Although the culture is different with my hometown country, somehow, I always like for being here. And it is a great opportunity for me to have a new chance to live at here. Although it’s only for three months. But I hope, I could find a good living at here. And it’s Spring! Usually Spring is a love season. They said so. Although I’m not really confident to have one. I’m totally lost. I don’t know if I could find a love a again. Yeah right.. What am I thinking right now. I took my camera and cross the street.

I love my apartment. Across of it, you will see Gwangan Bridge immediately. Suddenly in my mind I heard Zion T. song that titled Yanghwa Bridge. I sighed heavily. I miss my Daddy. Maybe he was the only man who never hurt me in many ways. That’s why we always said that our daddy is our hero. My eyes glazed. I coughed a bit. I sighed fiercely. I smiled. I know that my Daddy will never like me to cry. He hates a crybaby. Although when I was a little girl, if I cried and didn’t stop, he would stay in silence and waited for me until I stopped cry. I smiled again.

Couples

Pit stop (photo taken by: Kay Brahm — Sony RX100 M2).

I stood nearby the traffic lamp and waited for the green sign so I could across the street safely. I looked at my left. I saw a couple who walked excitedly. Then the woman stopped and took some building pictures. I thought she probably a tourist. I tried to take their picture for many times. The man realized that I was being a paparazzi wanna be and hidden his face under his palm. I smirked. Somehow, there are many people still not comfortable to be taken their picture by a stranger although they updated their social media such as instagram etc profoundly and continuously with their photos. I could understand it. I nodded politely to him and cross the street which the traffic lamp already turned into green light.

I inhaled the air of Gwangan Beach. I could say it was Spring. I could find many couples easily. I sighed and laugh quietly. Yeah.. What The Spring song by 10CM being a music in my mind now. A song for a single people like me. But somehow it was enlightened my mood. I took some pictures and played some dubbing in my mind while I took their pictures.

Picture of Us (photo taken by: Kay Brahm — Sony RX100 M2).

I murmured, “Hey Oppa! Let’s take a picture! Please bend your body a little! Otherwise you will not be fitted in the frame! More bending, please!” “Click! Click!” the shutter sounded. I smiled. I remembered how when I was in relationship. I never really like to take a picture together with my boyfriend. Usually I would take his pictures. After that he would pretend to be disliked for being taken the pictures. I sighed. Relationship surely did consume your feel. Your time. Your emotion. I paused. I looked at the couple again. They would be in their early 20s. Yeah.. The ages where you are still believing that “I am You, You are Me.” It’s cringed. I laugh quietly. I missed those silliness that ever happened in my early 20s. But too much hurt that I wanted to forget. I appreciated the memories but won’t remember it. I prefer to forget all of them. Because the past (either it was good or bad one) is better to forget. I mean the relationship that you ever had with someone (that you think) special (at that moment).

The princess and her knight. (photo taken by : Kay Brahm — Sony RX100 M2).

Then I walked a bit. And I saw this couple. I believe they are in their 25’s. Just like song Palette by IU & G-Dragon, their love will be more mature. Still many jealousy yet they more mature about what they like and what they want. Everything is not as the same like in their early 20s. Everything is about how they want to find something that could show their existence by their job and social life. I believe 25 is a great age ever. Too bad I wasted it. I love someone who couldn’t keep up with my dream. I wanted to be someone. Being someone. Kinda egoist. But hey.. Everyone really wanted to be recognized by their talent or work. I smiled. I know that age was the best. I could get any man that I want. Young and more mature. The brightest age ever.

Together we can (photo taken by: Kay Brahm — Sony RX100 M2).

Then, I left them at there. Not far away, when I looked at my left side, I met another couple at their late 20s. Looks more comfortable each other. Being bold in many ways to each other. Believe in each other. The strong bond already developed. One step to another steps. Counting on each other. A mature love where each other is being mature enough to have a better commitment. I paused. Suddenly I feel my eyes glazed. I shook my head and sighed deeply. Why I have to remember him now. It’s already yesterday. Nothing can change it. I only can wish him only the happiness in his life. I knew it. We are not meant to be each other. Somehow, I envy those couples. How I wish I can turn back the time.

Walk Forward (photo taken by: Kay Brahm — Sony RX100 M2).

Then I walked away from the beach and stand at the traffic lamp. I wanted to go back to my apartment. I felt so sad now. I exhaled fiercely. I watched the couple who were stood next to me. I saw the wedding rings on their fingers. Hm.. Married couple. I saw the woman talked very actively. The man heard her and watched carefully with full of love. Sometimes he smiled very wide and laughed together with her. It’s totally a heart warmer sight. When they crossed the street, I followed them secretly and took their picture. I looked at the picture. Married people surely do different than any couples. I sighed. I don’t know how many sighed that I already done. Maybe because I’m still jetlag so I feel little bit mellow. Or maybe.. just maybe.. I miss him.