Life is so much more complex than that.

Kirstie Dempsey
Aug 8, 2017 · 3 min read

The complexity of life.

It’s been on my mind a lot lately, and in many different forms. It started out as a passing thought.

How much more compassionate would I be if I understood the complexity of life? The complexity of every. single. human.

I’m not just my picture that people see on social media. Or the story they read on my website. I’m not just a mom, a wife. I’m so much more. I have so many layers. Rich layers that most people don’t even begin to see.

I fervently believe in plant medicine, and I vaccinate my child. I have unshakable faith in God, and I don’t attend Church. I meditate daily, and I lose my shit daily. I believe in the Holiness of our breath, and I hold in my holy rage at times. I know that mother Earth is where I receive true nurturing, and I turn to the comforts of my fear-filled mind for an ego-stroke here and there. I believe I am the co-creator of my reality, and I turn apathetic to the news. And I also know that even though these things are a part of my reality, they aren’t a part of everyones.

But it can be so damn hard to remember that some days, can’t it?

In a world where we are taught to value uniqueness, separation and personal achievement it can be so difficult to respect others and to understand the interconnectedness of all humans- with all of Earth and beyond. Let’s not get started on our innate ability to judge every living thing we encounter. We are taught something is good if it fits into our ideal way of living, and bad if it does not. We are not taught to consider the complexities and the paradoxes that life so beautifully brings us.

I KNOW that there will be someone out there thinking that I am some idealistic, stupid millennial who hasn’t yet been jaded by the facts of life. The facts of life. It’s hard. Only the rich succeed. You can’t get ahead if you have nothing. Only the luckiest of all experience a true rags-to-riches tale. Working a full-time job for a modest income where I just check the boxes and go home is all that I should ever hope for. In fact, I should be grateful for what I am given. I shouldn’t ask for more. I should take all that I can get. I should have my cake and eat it too. Should I go on?

I have my fair share of these types of thoughts every day. But even the slightest thought like this brings with it physical pain, emotional pain, apathy and fear.

And what we have forgotten is that pain is not our natural state. Joy, ease, abundance- that is natural. That is when our bodies rejoice. When we are truly living our lives. Fear is undoubtedly a natural response- and one we need- but we have been conditioned to shut out fear- or to let it shut us down.

I’m not going to give you some coaching cliche about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Because naming fear is complex, and one sweeping statement cannot address the way we deal (or don’t deal) with fear.

As we stand today, I sense that we are squeezing the life out of boxed-up compassion. The rise of self-help as told by gurus with one-track ideals is not sustainable. What would happen if we took into account the complexities of life and stopped trying to make people wrong for feeling a certain way? Or acting/living/believing a certain way?

Understanding that we are all complex beings with a multitude of feelings, beliefs, fears, thoughts and ideas beneath the surface has the power to create a more unified and compassionate world. Not just among humans, but among the spirit of nature and the Earth as well.

I’m not asking for world-peace, here, I’m just asking you to consider the possibility of a more beautiful world.

Kirstie Dempsey

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