I’m infamous for bottling my emotions

Granted, I’m often repetitive

Frequently, a nuisance in other’s eyes

So much love to give, yet none within my grasp

For why?

An infinite inquiry like a marquee vividly parallels my mind

Karma?

Guilt.

Eats me alive

Gnawing away at all the good I have done and have offered

Just searching to be grounded

I keep floating away

Swaying in the breeze between negativity versus positivity

Voicing secrets - only to be rejected

Guess I need to get used to it sooner or later

Headful of doubt and shame with a mix of hate

Further regrets for my past actions, I cannot take them back

Inexcusable.

Currently conversing with my heart in a vice

A slow, agonizing torture full of my own mind games

Perhaps the sweetest revenge on the enemy of myself