Why I’m still alone at 37
Melissa Hughes

I don’t usually write responses when reading posts on Medium but I felt compelled to write a response to your post because I’ve been in both sides of the equation.

I appreciate that you found a silver lining in your situation. Like someone else’s response, I am confident that you will absolutely be meeting amazing people soon enough! :) In terms of trying to understand the other side, in my case anyway, a lot of the actions that I’ve expressed were not intentional and it had nothing to do with my partner. There were a lot of things that I bottled up and tried to solve by myself because I felt that I only had to do it by myself and without my partner’s help. Little did I know, my actions made it seem like I was unsatisfied, unhappy or perhaps I didn’t feel the same way when I genuinely did.

Relationships are complicated and it deals with two people’s lives/experiences prior and during the relationship. Please keep this in mind because for me, I didn’t realize how much each prior relationship I had been on has changed me in some way. Working on myself and remembering the kind of woman I was striving to be was ultimately the only way I was able to recognize how poorly I’ve acted.

Truth be told, desires change. I find it far more fruitful to identify the differences between what I want, need and deserve. Sometimes, what you want isn’t what you need right now. Does that make sense?

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