What I want, need and deserve.
Over the past month or so I’ve been thinking about what it means to want, need or deserve [something/someone]. I started to see a difference between these terms, yet somehow they were connected. Frankly, I haven’t gotten very far with this inquiry yet, partly because it’s something that changes and something that I will continue to explore time after time.
Truth be told, I don’t know what you want, need or feel like you deserve. That’s something that you will need to find out on your own the same way I’m trying to figure it out for myself. A tad simplistic perhaps, but I’ve always enjoyed making lists so why don’t we start with this:
Regurgitate what you want, need and feel like you deserve. It could be something you’ve always wanted to do or have. Everything. We’re not trying to figure out how we’re going to get it yet. That’s going to have to come later.
Looking over my lists, there are some items that I know are achievable by simply putting a little bit of effort everyday. Draw up a plan, execute and make changes along the way to reach that goal. Others, however, require a lot of internal learning that I haven’t done before.
You see, from filling out this table I started to realize that: 1. I have a good idea of what I want and don’t want; 2. Some of what I want may change over time as I experience life, and inevitably as I evolve; 3. Voicing out my needs is as powerful as going after what I want, perhaps even more, and 4. What I feel like I deserve is the result of satisfying (or not) my wants and needs.
Okay, so we made the lists, checked it twice. Now what? Is this all it’s going to surmount to-a list? It doesn’t have to.
If we look at our lists in its entirety, it looks awfully daunting. We wouldn’t even know where to start! Not to mention other factors that could prevent us from actually attaining what’s on our lists. For instance, fear is a huge factor. The fear of not being good enough, fear of failure or judgement.
So, how do we start? We figure out what’s important, not just for right now, not for 3 or 6 months or a year from now either. Think much farther, think 5 years from now. What are some qualities you need to have or learn in order to live the life you envision 5 years from now? Are some of those items on your list going to help you get there or do you just want to have them right now just because?
If you only had 9 slots (3 for each column) to describe the kind of life you want to live 5 years from now, which items on your list would you put on each slot? Will you put any?
Does that list reflect the kind of life and the kind of person you want to become?
Don’t think about it too much. That’s a black hole you don’t want to be sucked in my friend, believe me! Just enough, because you already have the answers screaming inside of you.