Anna Grace don’t feel bad. I underwent that situation for nearly a year. I became very needy and dependent which was never my nature. I used to work and study at the same time before the move. My husband was so patient, but I could see some frustrations at times. The frustration within me is stronger, and I was desperate to find ways to be functional and stronger again.
Here’s some of what I did to wake myself up:
I tried different hobbies like crochet, sewing, gardening, anything that interest me.
I conditioned my mind that it’s just a phase and tomorrow is going to become better. I felt bad being a housewife especially when people back home ask me: “Are you working or just a housewife?” Those questions depressed me. I felt ashamed answering them. I can’t accept my situation. Somebody told me this, and I always remember it. It liberated me from shame and realized the blessing I have: “Not anyone can be a wife. You should be happy you are one.”
Keep yourself busy during daytime. I rarely text my husband when he’s at work. I’m busy every weekdays — meal planning, cooking, baking, reading, etc. Do not let yourself have too much idle time because that’s when depression will try to get in. I know it’s very tough. I don’t know how to drive, but I ask him to drive me to stores like craft stores, Ikea, and spend time alone there during Saturday. If budget permits, use your time to search on travel plans. It will help both of you if you see a new environment and break routine at times. I also join community picnics. Sometimes I don’t feel belong but, hey, they’re community picnics anyway lol. I challenge myself by joining random community contests. I have no shame and fear to lose because no one knows me.
Just do your best Anna to still have the autonomy and independence in marriage. It will make you a stronger and more lovable wife. I’ve been there. It’s tough. Keep searching the things that you will love doing. I’m with you and hoping you’ll get over it really soon.
