Most Depressing Holiday Card Ever

Each year, my ex and I would receive a holiday card from a mutual friend of ours, more his than mine since they worked together for some time in the same department. And it was always a nice one, too, very PC (since my ex is Jewish, it was usually “Happy Holidays” or something to that effect).

Since my separation and divorce, I have been receiving the card, like clockwork, around the holidays. It’s always addressed to Mr. and Mrs. (Ex-Married Last Name) and contains a cheery note, like, “Hope you guys are doing well!” or “We wish you two the best for this upcoming year!”. So, basically, every year as Christmas draws near, I find this card in my mailbox, retrieve it, and am reminded that I am not Mrs. Ex-Married Last Name anymore and that the two of us are NOT doing well…at least, not together, because I’ve been pretty happy on my own the last couple years. Every year I remind myself that I have to mail this person back a note (he is pretty much off the grid, so email is out, and who wants to deliver that kind of news via email anyway) that Mr. and Mrs. are now divorced and thank you for the kind cards, please feel free to continue to send ME a card, but for obvious reasons my ex-other half now has another address.

I tell myself to send it after the holidays, because that is not a fun update to get around the Christmas season. But January and February rolls around and then I forget. Until December. And then I receive the card and the entire scenario replays again, like a not-funny Groundhog Day movie.

How did I get involved in this discussion?

I really think that there should be a business that helps people going through divorce come up with printed explanations or placards. You know, kind of like those handouts that (supposedly) mute homeless people give out on the streets of New York City that states, “Hi, I am ___________. I am mute. I would appreciate it if you could help me out and XYZ.” I’m not saying not all these people are not mute. I’m simply pointing out that I’ve met many mute homeless in that city. And if you think me unfeeling about this topic, you have not read my previous posts, so…really?!!? I’m a bleeding heart. It’s pathetic.

I would have greatly benefited from such a service. Mainly because my ex and I consulted at the same company, a place where most of the employees had been there for about 20 years, so almost everyone had watched my ex grow up from a cute little kiddo into manhood and listened to the bubbling stories from his mother (oh, she worked there, too!) of how he had found happiness with a significant other at last. Therefore, when our marriage fell apart, I was treated to many a sad look and the not-so-adroit questioning of “what happened?”.

Someone should start this kind of business. Seriously.

Life happened, people. We think things are going to go one way sometimes and they simply don’t. But that’s not the answer people want to hear. So I wish I did have some pamphlets (or business cards, per the pic) printed out to hand to my somewhat sympathetic and nosy entourage with a summarized account of the breakup in holiday-card style, like, “People walk along the path of life together, but often find themselves on divergent roads. We as people grow together and grow apart and alas, we found ourselves traversing the latter.” Of course, I would have loved to add an ‘eff you to my ex in the treatise, but I wouldn’t have, because well…that’s not me.

So this year, I have finally achieved the impossible, which was to send a response to this person (and his lovely wife) and am wondering, will I, just I, receive a holiday card come Christmas of this year? I guess we will have to see.