Proper One Night Stand Etiquette

One night stands and casual hookups have recently become the big mac of modern romance. They’re not healthy, not good for your heart, will not satisfy you for long, and usually come with a side of regret, but oh boy will it hit the spot.

In 1989 a survey was taken on college campuses across America, these studies found that not one woman was open to the idea of having casual sex with a random man, even if they found them attractive. On the other side of the spectrum, seven out of ten men reported that they would “hop on” if the tables were turned.

Today, statistics show that women are more likely to spread em’ after just one time of meeting. In 2015 nearly half the women on match.com reported that they had a one-night stand and enjoyed it.

“Wanna get out of here?’

In the world of contemporary dating, it is easy for a guy to bring home a girl way out of his league.

The key is not sounding too desperate…

A mans chances of scoring a girl more attractive than himself, depend on the words he uses to swoon us women into his man cave of an apartment.

“Do you want to come back to my place?” Too desperate.

Men who use this line probably haven’t gotten laid on months.

“Do you want to head out and grab some pizza?” Much more effective.

Now that you’ve accomplished getting her to leave the grimy club hand in hand with you, acting like you two have been dating for years, she will need to know where you live. Don’t worry; she’s not dropping a pin for the crazy ex boyfriend. She just needs to have an escape route, ya know… incase you go all Dexter on her.

When you get back to your apartment, things may get a little awkward for a moment. Totally normal! Remember you two are strangers who left a dimly lit watering hole together and now you’re in your living room. Make small talk, offer her a drink, she definitely didn’t forget about that pizza you mentioned.

After you feed the beast, start kissing her gently. Not too gently, or else she may think you’re going to propose. Don’t kiss her too hard because that’s creepy.

The single-handed most important quality of a successful one night-stand is the common decency for a man to wrap it up.

You don’t really know her and she doesn’t really know you. Despite what is about to go down between you two, your past sexual encounters have most likely not been brought up.

Storing a box of condoms in your nightstand isn’t seen as impolite, it’s seen as a considerate.

When it comes to the act of sex itself, don’t try to be someone you’re not. If you’re going to have a one-nigh stand, embrace it! Let loose and enjoy!

Good morning, sunshine

When you wake up please be aware that her breath won’t smell like roses and she will probably have to pee. After the cobwebs are wiped from her eyes and she realizes where she is, you might be lucky enough to get another round.

Please don’t whisper sweet nothings into her ear and please don’t start telling her about your family. Just because you are sober now, doesn’t mean you’re Facebook official.

Now that your 10-hour affiliation is coming to an end, you need to be a gentleman. Take her number, and say something nice later in the day. You don’t need to tell her you love her, but check in to see how her day is going. Don’t ghost on her.

Now go, change your sheets!